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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The population of many cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects of this growth on people living in these cities? What can be done to maintain their quality of life?

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Introduction
Nowadays, the
population
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 in urban
cities
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 is rapidly growing because a large
number
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 of individuals move there from rural areas and villages to study and find profitable occupations.
This
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 essay will discuss how
this
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 growth affects
people
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 who live in these
cities
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 and ways to keep
life
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 comfortable.
Body paragraph 1
A sharp rise in the urban
population
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 can seriously affect
infrastructure
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 and housing. City
infrastructure
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 is designed for a certain
number
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 of residents, so when more
people
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 arrive, problems
such
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 as traffic congestion, higher demand for renting, transport, and resources
.
Verb problem
arise.
show examples
 In Tashkent,
for example
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, at the beginning of each academic year, a large
number
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 of cohorts move from the countryside, it becomes the reason of increasing costs for rent, public transport overcrowding and a reduced
number
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 of vacancies to study. These issues negatively affect
people
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's quality of
life
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, making it essential to implement effective solutions.
Body paragraph 2
Public authorities can take effective measures to ensure that citizens maintain a high standard of living. The government should invest in affordable housing, expand public transport networks and promote the development of rural areas to reduce the tendency of
people
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 to relocate exclusively to the capital. In Singapore,
for example
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, authorities build affordable housing and develop underground subway networks,
as a result
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, even if the
population
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 is growing, the quality of citizens
life
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 stay high.
Therefore
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, by planning the
infrastructure
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 in
cities
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 and investing in more affordable resources for
life
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, the state can avoid challenges with the rapid growth of the
population
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, rapid
population
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 growth in
cities
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 causes harm to residents and the quality of their lives. With sufficient government support, regional inequality will decrease , and
infrastructure
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 in urban areas can advance.

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task response
Answer both parts in more depth. You name key effects, such as traffic, high rent, and full public transport, but explain more clearly how each one changes daily life for city people.
task response
Make your examples more exact. In the Tashkent example, explain why fewer study places happen and how this is linked to city growth. This will make the point stronger.
task response
Give more detail about the plans. For example, say how new homes, more buses and trains, and better jobs in rural areas can help people live well in cities.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, one paragraph on effects, one on plans, and an ending. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences need a full main verb. For example, change “when more people arrive, problems such as...” to “when more people arrive, problems such as traffic and high rent become worse.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, but do not repeat “for example” too often. You can also use “as a result”, “because of this”, and “to deal with this problem”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the first body paragraph, first state the effect, then explain it, then give the example, and finally link it to quality of life.
task response
You answer both questions: you describe effects of fast city growth and give ways to protect quality of life.
task response
Your ideas are relevant. Traffic, housing costs, crowded transport, and rural development are all useful points for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to follow, and each body paragraph has a clear purpose.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the ending brings the main ideas together.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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