IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Q. New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

2.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Some people believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 necessary to attend
lessons
Use synonyms
 for
arise chlidern
Rephrase
arising children
. In the
up coming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
 paragraphs may show the advantages and disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, Nowdays, many people become parents in yonug years. so that it may need some help from professionals.
Such
Linking Words
 as,
New
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 mother and father had a baby
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they don’t have any idea how to prepare or care
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the baby.
Lessons
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help them becaues it make them more aware
abouth
Correct your spelling
of
 rising
childerns
Correct your spelling
children
.
As a result
Linking Words
, attendance for courses may be useful for new parents.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people believe that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no benefits to
take a
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
lessons
Use synonyms
 for
rising
Use the right word
raising
show examples
 a kid. They take the experience from
thier parntes
Correct your spelling
their parents
 either
way
Punctuation problem
way,
show examples
 if they
wrong
Verb problem
are wrong
show examples
 or
right
Punctuation problem
right,
show examples
 they see they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have enough information.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that
take a
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
lessons
Use synonyms
 and
coures
Correct your spelling
courses
 to
rise
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 a kid is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 thing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 parents, it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them
full awareness
Replace the word
fully aware
 and
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
show examples
 them for a new chapter.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view clearly in the first part. You agree that new parents should take courses, so say this at once.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Say what parents can learn, such as food, sleep, safety, and how to deal with a sick child.
task response
Your second main part gives the other view, but it is very short and unclear. Explain why some people learn from their own parents, then say why this may not be enough.
task response
Use one clear, real example. For example, a course can help a new mother know when a baby needs to see a doctor.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: first part with your view, one main part for your first reason, one main part for the other view, and a final part.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main part with one clear topic sentence. For example: “Parenting courses can give new parents useful help.”
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words: “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In addition”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete and easy to follow. Check words such as “lessons is help them” and change them to “Lessons help them.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the main idea. Use “raising children” or “bringing up children”, rather than many unclear forms of this phrase.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view in the final part.
task response
You give a useful reason for courses: new parents may need help from people who know more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main parts, and a final part.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “As a result”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: