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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the min legal age for driving a car or motorbike.To what extent do you agree/disagree

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Introduction
A new debate
on
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apply
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to raise the minimum
age
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 of vehicle riders that will result in road safety enhancements. I agree to
this
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 context,
however
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,
this
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 is a step of the whole process to ascend the streets safety
which
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, which
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 we will be
duscussing
Correct your spelling
discussing
 through
this
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 essay.
Body paragraph 1
As a first step, the rider’s
age
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 can significantly demonstrate how he drives his car, regardless of his mental health, as researchers have shown that when an individual gets
older
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older,
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 he gets
more calm &
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calmer and more
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 decent in the way he
control
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controls
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 his
roadtrip
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road trip
.
Moreover
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,
government
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the government
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 should reconsider
on which
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at what
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age
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 an individual can
drive
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 after bearing all
license
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the license
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 & medical tests required
that
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to
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 facilitate
this
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 process.
For instance
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, heavy trucks always require a specific
age
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 that allows the individual to
drive
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in
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on
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 roads without any risks
on
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to
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 citizens
knowing
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, knowing
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 that he is old & wise enough to manage the trip.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, raising the
age
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 isn’t the only solution to ensure safety. There are suggestions that
helps state
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help states
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 to increase the quality & lower the accident risks that might happen within the community. Penalties
is
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are
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 a beneficial
suggest
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suggestion
 that
ensure
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ensures
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 humans follow the rules
&
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, &
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providing the road signs that assist a person how to
drive
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 in
this
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 area
Conclusion
In conclusion, I do agree that
age
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 is an essential point that allows the individual to
drive
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 decently with no negative impact on himself & the human beings
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additionally
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additionally,
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 with all the improvements
provided
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provided,
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 can help the country have a better quality of life.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that you agree only in part, because age can help but cannot solve all road safety problems.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and an example. Explain why younger drivers may take more risks, then show how training, police checks, and strong laws can also cut crashes.
task response
Make your example more specific. Instead of only saying that truck drivers need a higher age, explain how extra age, training, and tests may help them make safer choices.
task response
Answer “to what extent” in the end as well. Your last paragraph should clearly say that raising the age is useful, but it should be one part of a wider plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph on age, one paragraph on other ways to improve safety, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with a clear main sentence. For example: “Raising the legal age may reduce risk on the road.” Then keep all following sentences on that one idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, “Also”, and “Therefore”. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas joined together.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences easier to follow. For example, write “The government should decide the right age after checking driving and health tests” instead of the longer sentence in paragraph two.
task response
You give a clear overall view: raising the driving age can help, but it is not the only answer.
task response
You include more than one way to improve safety, such as tests, penalties, and road signs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful linking words, including “Moreover”, “For instance”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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