In some countries, students live at home with their family while they study at university, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
In some countries,
student
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students
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live with their families
while
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pursuing higher education,
whereas
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in other
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students
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countries, students
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move to
the
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apply
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different countries to attend their university.
Although
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living away from
home
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can create difficulties, the advantages of
this
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tend
outweigh
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to outweigh
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the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
There are several reasons why living away from
home
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can be beneficial
from
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for
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university
students
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. The major advantage is
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students
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that students
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become self-reliant because they have to manage their own household tasks and other problems
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such
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, such
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as cooking
,
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and
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laundry.
As a result
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, after
being graduated
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graduating
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, they may not depend on their parents.
Moreover
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, by living
another
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in another
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country,
students
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meet different people,
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therefore
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therefore,
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students
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students'
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communication skills will be improved.
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This
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These
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skills not only
helping
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help
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them work in a team but
also
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enhancing
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enhance
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their
confident
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confidence
.
Body paragraph 2
Despite these benefits, living far from
home
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also
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has some disadvantages. The major concern is
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students
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that students
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have to pay their own expenses
such
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as accommodation, transportation
cost
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costs,
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and food.
This
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may create lots of difficulties, especially for low-income families.
Furthermore
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, some
students
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may suffer from homesickness because they do not spend enough time with their loved
once
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ones
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. To illustrate,
students
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may not
able
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be able
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focus
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to focus
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on their academic performance
and
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, and
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it can
sometime
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sometimes
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affect their emotional well-being.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
although
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living away from
home
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has some
drawback
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drawbacks
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such
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as homesickness and financial difficulties, its benefits in terms of independence
,
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apply
show examples
and communication skills are
significant
Rephrase
more significant
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than
drawbacks
Add an article
the drawbacks
show examples
.

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first part. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, and keep this same view in the last part.
task response
Make your main ideas more full. Explain how living alone helps students in later work and life, not only that they do cooking and laundry.
task response
Use a real or clear example. For example, a student who shares a flat may learn to plan money, cook, and solve daily problems.
task response
Stay close to the question. The topic is mainly about moving to another city, but your essay often says another country. Use the same idea as the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. For example: First, Second, As a result, However, and For this reason. Do not join many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. In the good-points paragraph, first explain self-reliance, then explain meeting new people. Give each idea its own short support.
coherence and cohesion
Use key words in a steady way. Choose 'living away from home' and 'students', rather than changing to 'living another country' or repeating 'students' too many times.
task response
You talk about both sides of the topic: being self-reliant and meeting people, as well as money problems and missing family.
task response
Your main view is clear: you feel that living away from home has more good points than bad points.
coherence and cohesion
The order of your ideas is easy to follow, and the final part brings your main view back.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as 'Moreover', 'Despite these benefits', and 'To sum up'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters independence
  • self-reliance
  • essential life skills
  • cultural backgrounds
  • academic performance
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • financially burdensome
  • homesickness
  • emotional stress
  • mental health
  • familial support
  • isolation and loneliness
  • stable and supportive environment
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