IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

How does the design of buildings impact the quality of life in the places people live and work, both positively and negatively ?

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
The increasing influence of building
designs
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 on our lives has ignited numerous discussions.
This
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 matter is significant
due to
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 its
impact
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 on the quality of life in the places where people live and
work
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.
This
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 essay will examine the positive and negative impacts of building
designs
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.
Body paragraph 1
One of the primary positive impacts of building
designs
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 is their ability to withstand extreme weather patterns
as well as
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 the amount of
space
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 available to
acommodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 everyone comfortably.
Furthermore
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, building
designs
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 that have enough internal physical
space
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,
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apply
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 tend to positively boast the morale and productivity of employees at
work
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. Recent studies have demonstrated that employees who
work
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 in an
open plan
Correct your spelling
open-plan
 office environment are less productive than those who have their own offices.
Thus
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, a building design which emphasize on more internal
space
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 for independence both at
work
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 and home will positively
impact
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on
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apply
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the lives of its occupants.
Body paragraph 2
However
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,
on the other hand
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, one of the primary negative effects of building
desing
Correct your spelling
design
 is its
impact
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 on the environment. Most of these building
design
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designs
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 are contributing to climate change as
there
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they
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 are burning substantial fossil fuels.
Furthermore
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, some of the
designs
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 are foreign concepts, which are not in sync with local culture.
Conclusion
In conclusion, building
designs
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 can positively
impact
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 the lives of people where they
work
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 and live if they incorporate enough
space
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 to promote privacy.
However
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,
on the other hand
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Add a comma
,
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some building
designs
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are
Wrong verb form
do
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 not
respecting
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respect
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 local traditions.

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task response
You answer both the good and bad sides of building design. To make your answer stronger, explain more kinds of impact, such as light, air, noise, safety, travel time, and access for old or disabled people.
task response
Your main good point is space and privacy. This is clear, but it needs a fuller explanation. Show how more space can help people rest at home and focus at work.
task response
The point about open-plan offices is useful, but the claim about recent studies is not explained. Give a clear example instead, such as workers being unable to focus because of talk and noise.
task response
Your bad points about climate change and local culture are relevant. Explain how building work and use cause harm, for example through fuel use, power use, and waste.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, good side, bad side, and ending. Keep this plan, but make each body paragraph focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not fully clear. Use simple linking words such as "For example", "As a result", and "In addition" to show why one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph puts weather, space, worker morale, and office type together. Split these ideas or clearly connect them, so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending include all key ideas. At present, it mentions privacy and local traditions, but it leaves out the point about harm to the environment.
task response
You stay on the topic and discuss both positive and negative effects of building design.
task response
You use relevant ideas about privacy, work, the environment, and local culture.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "Furthermore", "However", and "In conclusion" help show the change between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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