IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of oil drilling operations in remote locations around the world. This has brought economic benefits to some countries, though it has also raised concerns about the environmental impact of these operations. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

3.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
Conuntries
Correct your spelling
Countries
 looking
for
Verb problem
to
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increase
Use synonyms
there finacial
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their financial
 income in multiple ways
most
Rephrase
, the most
comman
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common
 one is digging for more oil to raise there operation production mass to sell it or use it in
there
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their
show examples
 places. On
other
Add an article
the other
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 that thing
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the impact of
hurful
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harmful
 on
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 environment.
Body paragraph 1
First
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First,
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 the effect that will cause
due to
Linking Words
 huge number of
factory
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factories
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 may show
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to
Use synonyms
increase
Add an article
an increase
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 there waste
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 the gas where relase in there air can
cuase
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cause
 many lung
disease
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diseases
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 or skin harm
althoght
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. Although
 the mass waste of
there
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their
show examples
 production may
effect
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affect
show examples
 the life
surrond
Correct your spelling
surrounding
 the country. Another issue may
appere
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appear
 is the
raise
Check wording
rise
show examples
 of
temperture
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temperature
 in the
Use synonyms
contry
Correct your spelling
country
due to
Linking Words
 the drilling in multiple are which
effect on
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 the
earth
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earth's
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layer
Punctuation problem
layer,
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that leads
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to hight tempreture espicialy near
drilling
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the drilling
show examples
side
Check wording
site
show examples
. In my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 that will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to many
disease
Rephrase
diseases,
 so
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contry shulld condiser
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the country should consider
 these
issue
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issues
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
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 many
penefit
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benefits
 will show
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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jop apportinity
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job opportunity
 will rose that somthoing good for the
citizen
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citizens
show examples
 in the country, Althoght finacial isse will
resolve
Wrong verb form
be resolved
show examples
 in the
Use synonyms
contry
Correct your spelling
country
due to
Linking Words
 the
increase
Use synonyms
of the income
Correct word order
in income, the
show examples
 state will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to
Use synonyms
increase
Add an article
an increase
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the
Change preposition
in
show examples
 salary and the
service
Check wording
services
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 that
Use synonyms
contry
Correct your spelling
the country
 should provide. I see
this
Linking Words
 is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 way to give
pepole
Correct your spelling
people a
 chance to develop in
there life
Rephrase
their lives
.
Conclusion
In conclusion should
goverment put
Verb problem
enforce
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 law and order
the
Verb problem
to limit the
show examples
factory activity to limit there harmful
Correct word order
harmful effects of factory activity
show examples
 on the area and
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
 the
econimic
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economic
 state for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 own home.

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task response
Answer all parts more clearly. Explain the good side of oil work, the bad side, and your own view in a direct way.
task response
Give more clear support for each main idea. For example, say how oil money can help schools, roads, and health care, but also how leaks and waste can harm land, water, and animals.
task response
Your view is present, but it is not fully clear. State that oil work should only go ahead if the government has strong rules to protect the area.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: start, bad side, good side, and end. Your essay has this plan, but the first part is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main sentence. Then add one reason and one example before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: “On the one hand”, “For example”, “However”, and “In conclusion”. Do not put too many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same order as the question: discuss both sides first, then give your own view. This will make your writing easier to read.
task response
You discuss both the economic good side and the harm to the environment.
task response
You give a clear main view that the government should control oil work.
coherence and cohesion
You use separate parts for the bad side, the good side, and the end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Extraction industry
  • Fossil fuels
  • Renewable resources
  • Sustainability
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Ecological balance
  • Socio-economic development
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainable development
  • Climate mitigation
  • Energy transition
  • Ecological footprint
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Pollution control measures
  • Economic diversification
  • Resource exploitation
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