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Band 5.5

The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.

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The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of water consumption for several purposes among six different areas
over
Change preposition
of
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 the globe.
Overall
Linking Words
, the information exhibited that the major portion of water used at industrial sites in North
America
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 and
Europe
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least contribution was domestic in
Use synonyms
africa
Capitalize the proper name
Africa
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.
However
Linking Words
, the difference among them
considerably
Verb problem
is considerably
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 high. As for North
America
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, the highest amount of water
used
Verb problem
was used
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 in
industrial
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the industrial
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sector
Use synonyms
, at 48%, as compared to
Europe
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 was 5% higher
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 South
America
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was
Verb problem
had
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 the least amount in
this
Linking Words
sector
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in
agricultural
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the agricultural
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sector
Use synonyms
39
Punctuation problem
, 39
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% contribution in North American
country
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countries
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,
while
Linking Words
 the 32% in
Europe
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, South
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america
Capitalize the proper name
America
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 was 71%.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
North
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the North
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american
Capitalize the proper name
American
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 country was 13% in
demestical
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the domestic
sector
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,
Europe
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 was 15%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 South
America
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 was 19%. As for
remaining
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the remaining
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 countries,
Africa
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, Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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were
Verb problem
apply
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accounted for 84%, 88% and 81% in
agricultural
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the agricultural
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sector
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, in
domestic
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the domestic
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sector
Use synonyms
Central
Punctuation problem
, Central
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Use synonyms
asia
Capitalize the proper name
Asia
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 and
South east
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Southeast Asia
asia
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 both
were
Verb problem
apply
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accounted for 7%
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Africa
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 was 2% higher than these countries. In industrial sectors, 7% was accounted for
Africa
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, Central
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asia
Rephrase
Asia,
 and
South east
Correct your spelling
Southeast Asia
asia
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 have been counted for 5% and 12% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america, europe, africa, sector, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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