IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that governments should spend money on art, music and theatre, while others think that public money should go only to essential services such as health and education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Whether
governments
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 should fund cultural
activities
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 or concentrate entirely on essential public
services
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 is widely debated. Some people believe that
healthcare
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 and
education
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 should receive all public funding,
while
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 others consider the arts a worthwhile investment. In my view, essential
services
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 should take priority, but
governments
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 should
also
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 allocate a small proportion of their budgets to cultural
activities
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, public spending on
healthcare
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 and
education
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 directly affects people's well-being and opportunities. Since government budgets are limited, hospitals and schools need sufficient funding to provide reliable
services
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. If these institutions are underfunded, patients may face longer waiting times,
while
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 students may have fewer educational resources.
As a result
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, many people believe that
governments
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 should prioritise essential
services
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 over cultural facilities, particularly because low-income families depend heavily on affordable public
services
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, government funding for art, music and theatre can
also
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 provide long-term benefits. Cultural
activities
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 help preserve local traditions and educate younger generations about their history.
For example
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, museums can organise historical exhibitions,
while
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 theatres can present traditional performances that might
otherwise
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 disappear.
However
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, these
activities
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 may not generate enough income from ticket sales alone. Public funding can
therefore
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 help keep them accessible to a wider audience.
In addition
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, cultural exhibitions and performances may attract tourists, benefiting nearby businesses and local economies.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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 funding should not come at the expense of essential
healthcare
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 and
education
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 cultural
activities
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 contribute to
education
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, cultural preservation and economic development, I believe that
healthcare
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 and
education
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 should receive the largest share of public funding.
Governments
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 should support the arts, but only after ensuring that essential
services
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 are adequately funded.

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task response
You discuss both sides well and give a clear view. To make your view even stronger, say more clearly how much money should go to art after health and education are paid for.
task response
Your main ideas are clear. You could add one more real or more detailed example, such as a local museum or a school music group, to show how art can help people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each main part has one clear job: health and education, then art, then your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “As a result”, and “In addition”, help the reader. Try not to use “However” and “Nevertheless” too close together in the same part; one is enough.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph gives a clear end and matches your view at the start. Keep this strong link between the first and last parts.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and give your own clear opinion.
task response
Your reasons are useful and well chosen: public health, school needs, local history, and money from visitors.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a clear order, and the reader can follow your point without trouble.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main idea and has good support.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public funding
  • essential services
  • limited budget
  • healthcare system
  • quality education
  • medical facilities
  • trained professionals
  • national heritage
  • cultural activities
  • performing arts
  • local artists
  • mental well-being
  • community cohesion
  • tourist attraction
  • economic benefits
  • low-income families
  • allocate funds
  • give priority to
  • a balanced approach
  • the largest share of the budget
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