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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that university education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays,
high
Replace the word
higher
education
Use synonyms
 has become free
charge
Check wording
apply
show examples
for
everyone
Use synonyms
 who wants to
study
Use synonyms
. Some of the population
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that colleges should be
unpaid
Correct word choice
free
show examples
 for
everyone
Use synonyms
wants
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that it shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be free for all
people
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, I believe that universities should be free for
everyone
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why it should be better to be unpaid for
everyone
Use synonyms
wants
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
 to have knowledge.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, so many families in the world can'
t
Use synonyms
 afford
study
Use synonyms
 expenses , which means that their youths dream is gone and they can'
t
Use synonyms
 complete their
education
Use synonyms
. Many countries in the world have given their students who complete
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school
scholarship
Check wording
apply
show examples
. If academic
study
Use synonyms
 is free, all smart
student
Use synonyms
 will not stop their
education
Use synonyms
 for just money.
For example
Linking Words
, when a poor family have a scholarship from their
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 the
student
Use synonyms
 will support their family and will change their lives
whith
Correct your spelling
with
 only a scholarship.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
universities
Check wording
university fees
show examples
fee
Use synonyms
 shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be free because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it requires enormous amount of money, which could which causes decline in the government budget. Some
people
Use synonyms
saythat
Correct your spelling
say that
 if youths do not pay
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 amount of money will start to neglect their
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , if a teenager did not pay any taxes on his
Use synonyms
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
 they will not
study
Use synonyms
 as much and wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 have bad grades
Punctuation problem
. However,
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of if the
student
Use synonyms
 paid his
education
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
, he will carefull to have good marks in college and
study
Use synonyms
 all day.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
Use synonyms
student
Check wording
students
show examples
 who
pays
Correct subject-verb agreement
pay
show examples
 a part of their university
fee
Use synonyms
 will be more
carful
Correct your spelling
careful
 to have good marks. But most smart
Use synonyms
student
Check wording
students
show examples
 in the world
can
Rephrase
cannot
show examples
 afford the
Use synonyms
education high
Correct word order
high education
show examples
 fees. So I strongly agree with
people
Use synonyms
that's
Correct determiner usage
that the
show examples
education
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 should be free.

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Task response
Your view is clear: you agree that university should be free. However, keep this view the same from start to end. In the last part, you say that students who pay will care more, so your main view becomes less clear.
Task response
Give two clear reasons for free university, such as equal chance for poor students and more skilled workers for the country. Explain each reason more fully.
Task response
Your example about a poor family is linked to the topic, but it is not clear enough. Say what the student studies, how free study helps, and how this changes the family’s life.
Task response
The other side is useful, but answer it more strongly. You can say that free study may cost a lot, but the state can pay through taxes, or help only students who need it most.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Still, the first body part supports free university, while the second part gives more space to the other view. Make the order clearer: give your reasons first, then answer the other side.
Coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one short main idea. For example: “First, free university gives poor students a fair chance.” Then add an explanation and one example.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a careful way: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence.
Coherence and cohesion
Some words are repeated or unclear, such as “free charge”, “unpaid”, and “education fee”. Choose one clear phrase, like “free university education”, and use it through the essay.
Task response
You answer the question directly and give your own view in the introduction.
Task response
You include ideas from both sides of the topic, including cost to the state and help for poor students.
Coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and common link words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion returns to the main topic and states your final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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