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Writing Samples
Band 2

Millions of dollars spent on research every years. some people argues that the money should be spent of improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

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Introduction
There is usually an argument about the huge amount of money spent
anniversarly
Correct your spelling
annually
 on
reasearches
Correct your spelling
research
,some people believe that
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of life on our
plant
Use the right word
planet
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 is poor and needs to be
qualified
Verb problem
improved,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
researches are
Rephrase
research is
 way more important. I believe that both are important.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, I believe in the importance of
reasearchs
Correct your spelling
research
 for
earth
Rephrase
the Earth
 and all the creatures living in it. The effort that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been used can not be denied at all
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 so the benefits that were gained because of
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 all through the years . Because of
them
Punctuation problem
them,
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 many diseases were cured , vaccinations discovered , ways of treating invented , and both
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 and animals
saved
Verb problem
were saved
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to
point
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the point
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 that
this
Linking Words
 all made life on earth better and easier , and the access to many things that
though
Verb problem
were thought
show examples
 to be impossible is now possible.
Conclusion
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , I can fully understand people who are against the money spent on research , because they see that poverty,
exhausting
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an exhausting
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 health system , and overpriced education are taking over
lives
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the lives
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 of most of the people
meanwhile
Correct word choice
, while
show examples
 nothing is really improved because of the
reasearchs
Correct your spelling
research

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task response
State your main view more clearly. You say both sides are important, but the task asks if you agree or disagree. Say how far you agree and keep this view in every part.
task response
Finish the essay with a short final part. Sum up your view and explain how money can be shared between research and needs such as health, homes, and schools.
task response
Develop the second main idea more. Explain how more money for poor people, hospitals, and schools can make daily life better. Give one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: opening, one part on research, one part on life on Earth, and a final part. This will make the answer feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the path of your ideas, such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, and “In the end”.
coherence and cohesion
Make some long sentences shorter. This will help the reader follow your meaning, especially in the first body part.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same key words. For example, use “research” and “living standards” often, rather than changing to unclear words like “them” or “this all”.
task response
You give a clear reason why research matters: it can cure disease, create vaccines, and save human and animal lives.
task response
You also show that you understand the other side by naming poverty, weak health care, and costly education.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has an opening and two body parts, and the phrase “On the other hand” clearly shows a change to the other view.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas in the first body part follow a sensible path from research to health gains and then to better life on Earth.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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