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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph provides key information about the average monthly change in prices of
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
, and
zinc
Use synonyms
 during 2014. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the figure that in January,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 has the maximum percentage.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Zinc
Use synonyms
 had increased slightly,
whereas
Linking Words
Copper
Use synonyms
 had been decreasing sharply.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, from January to March,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 had declined from 6% to 1%. From May to July,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 was on an up and down.
while
Linking Words
 in October, it starts to rise again to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
nearly 1%. In terms of
Zinc
Use synonyms
 and
Copper
Use synonyms
, from February to June,
Zinc
Use synonyms
 had a steady drop from 3% to -1%. And from October to December, it had increased, rising to approximately 2%.
While
Linking Words
 from January to June,
Copper
Use synonyms
 had a slight drop, from 2% to around 0%
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, from July to September,
Copper
Use synonyms
 had a stable status of nearly 1%.
Finally
Linking Words
, from November to December,
Copper
Use synonyms
 had increased to 1.5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, nickel, zinc with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • volatile
  • stability
  • peak
  • trough
  • increment
  • decrement
  • steady
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • increase
  • decrease
  • month-on-month
  • average monthly change
  • commodity
  • benchmark
  • trend
  • precipitous
  • plateau
  • significant
  • marginal
  • surge
  • dip
  • plummet
  • soar
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