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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Thw chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. summeruse the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevent.

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Thw chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. summeruse the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevent.
The pie chart illustrates the frequency of eating at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants among
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA from the years from 2003, 2006 and 2013. In 2003,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 number of
people
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 who went to fast
food
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 restaurants once a
week
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 almost the same as the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
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 who ate fast
food
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 once or twice a
month
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is around 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
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 who never ate fast
food
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 in a
week
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 was only 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and was the lowest amount
from
Change preposition
among
show examples
 any kind of fast
food
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 consumers. In 2006 had slight changes from the previous year
,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
 some
people
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 started to eat fast
food
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 more frequently
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 once or twice a
month
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 to once a
week
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there were more
people
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 who ate junk
food
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 a few times a
week
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 significantly indicates that junk
food
Use synonyms
 was getting more popular. In 2013, fast
food
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 consumers started to decrease slightly from the
last
Linking Words
 recorded year
, some
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
 several Americans
prevented
Verb problem
reduced their consumption of
show examples
 fast
food
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the difference is still undisrupted
,
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
people
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 started to consume fast
food
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 once a
month
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has increased from 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 33
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 approximately.
Overall
Linking Words
, more than half of the
people
Use synonyms
 still eat fast
food
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 at least once a
month
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Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 only around 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Americans eat
home cooked
Correct your spelling
home-cooked
food
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instead
Linking Words
 of fast
food
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, people, week, month, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food restaurant
  • Frequency
  • Consumption
  • Decadal change
  • Trend analysis
  • Peak years
  • Demographics
  • Eating out
  • Health trends
  • Economic conditions
  • Food industry
  • Demographic segmentation
  • Cuisine
  • Independent outlets
  • Chain restaurants
  • Longitudinal study
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