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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never change it later. To what extent do you agree with this view? Support your opinion with relevant examples.

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Introduction
It is often argued that choosing a career at an early age and sticking to it throughout life can help
individuals
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 become successful specialists. I utterly agree with
this
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 statement because it helps
individuals
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 to gain extensive
experience
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 in the chosen field, and
also
Linking Words
 improves their
overall
Linking Words
 well-being by earning a competitive salary.
Body paragraph 1
The primary reason for sticking with the same job is that it allows people to acquire a vast amount of hands-on
experience
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 in their current profession.
Moreover
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, they feel more confident and positive towards their goals because of their practical
experience
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Virat Kohli had a hobby of playing cricket in his childhood time, and he chose his hobby as his career.
Therefore
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, he became captain of the national cricket team because of his determination and confidence.
As a result
Linking Words
, people can settle into their lives more conveniently, and they encounter fewer obstacles in their careers.
Body paragraph 2
Another significant cause of
this
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 is that the masses get an opportunity to earn a good salary package.
This
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 is because their long-run
experience
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 in the specific job
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 helps them to train in the specialised skills and demonstrate their professional abilities.
For instance
Linking Words
, Virat Kohli earned a handsome amount of wages
due to
Linking Words
 his professional
experience
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 in cricket.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
individuals
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 can lead their lives with happiness and health
due to
Linking Words
 their excellent exposure in their job, because of their professional achievements and financial stability.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly believe that choosing a career at an early age and remaining committed to it can lead to professional success, extensive
experience
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 and financial stability. These factors ultimately help
individuals
Use synonyms
 enjoy a more comfortable and satisfying life.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that an early career choice can help people succeed. To make the answer stronger, explain why this is true in more detail and also note that this may not work for every person. A short point about people who find their best job later in life would make your view more balanced.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: work skill and pay. However, the link between staying in one career and well-being is not fully shown. Explain how skill, job growth, and pay can lead to a better life.
task response
Use more than one example. Both body parts use Virat Kohli, so the second example does not add much. You could use a doctor, teacher, or worker who learns more over many years and moves into a higher role.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this clear plan in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part should stay close to one main point. In the first part, focus on skill and work growth. In the second, focus on pay and a better life. This will make the ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are too general or repeat the same idea. For example, words such as “As a result” and “Consequently” should show a clear cause and effect. Use them only when the next line truly follows from the last one.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating words and ideas such as “experience,” “professional,” and “career.” You can use simple changes like “work skill,” “years in the job,” and “chosen field.”
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same clear view from the opening to the ending.
task response
The essay gives two clear reasons for your view: more work skill and better pay.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending clearly state your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Your main body parts begin with clear topic ideas, so the reader can follow your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Career longevity
  • Job market dynamics
  • Technological advances
  • Globalization
  • Expertise
  • Adaptability
  • Career advancement
  • Financial stability
  • Job satisfaction
  • Burnout
  • Specialization
  • Fulfilling
  • Personal development
  • Diverse experiences
  • Life events
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