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Writing Samples
Band 5

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant example.

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Introduction
Recently, the process of recruiting
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 followed to select the best candidate to
work
Use synonyms
 in an
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
. It depends on
employer
Correct article usage
the employer
show examples
 which important characteristics they
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 in an employee. No doubt,
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
 of
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 be focused, but educational background and expertise
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 necessary to
work
Use synonyms
 efficiently in a particular industry. In my opinion, both components have equal importance.
Body paragraph 1
Every enterprise
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 different priorities. If a
company
Use synonyms
 is very famous
due to
Linking Words
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 good quality of
work
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 they will prefer
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
 employee to join their
company
Use synonyms
. Those who have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 potential to show outstanding performance
, they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 will get the chance to be a part of that
company
Use synonyms
. A well-known enterprise have proper system to select
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 employees for them.
Body paragraph 2
For example
Linking Words
, KM trading has
HR
Correct article usage
an HR
show examples
 department, they
receives
Correct subject-verb agreement
receive
show examples
 resumes of the candidates through email, website or LinkedIn
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they process full information.
CV
Correct article usage
A CV
show examples
 of a person give the idea about
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 profession, certifications and skills. The methodology to select
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 employee who is free from any harmful act, well-mannered and hardworking
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 the opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if employers only select peoples those who do not have enough knowledge of professional
work
Use synonyms
, they cannot be able to perform any task
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of information and expertise.
For instance
Linking Words
, if there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of experience
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
seen in a candidate, but all other requirements are fulfilled,
then
Linking Words
 a
company
Use synonyms
 arrange training facilities for the employees.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is mandatory for
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 to hire those
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
a
Verb problem
are
show examples
 eligible to
work
Use synonyms
 in a professional environment. An enterprise should concern both areas to
get the
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 higher
achievement
Check wording
achievements
show examples
 and to run their business smoothly.

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Task response
Score: 6. You give a clear opinion: both personal qualities and work skills matter. You discuss both sides and add an example about KM Trading. However, the ideas are not fully developed. Explain more clearly why personal qualities matter, and show how qualifications and experience help in a real job. The question asks how far you agree or disagree, so state your level of agreement more directly in the first and last paragraphs. Make the example more specific: say what job the person wanted and how the two types of skills helped.
Task response
Your main idea is relevant, but some points are not clear. For example, the idea that a famous company wants an active worker does not clearly explain the value of personal qualities. Also, training does not fully replace experience in all jobs. Add a clear reason after each main point.
Coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The essay has a clear four-part structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. The order is easy to follow, and you use basic linking words such as “For example”, “Furthermore”, and “To sum up”.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not connect closely to the main point, and some ideas are repeated. Keep one clear topic in each body paragraph. For example, make the first body paragraph about personal qualities and the second about qualifications and experience. Use simple links such as “First”, “In addition”, “However”, and “Therefore”.
Coherence and cohesion
Check sentence links and word choice. “A well-known enterprise have proper system” should be “A well-known company has a proper system.” “They receives” should be “It receives.” These errors sometimes make the meaning less clear.
Task response
You answer the topic and give a clear opinion that both personal qualities and qualifications are important.
Task response
You include a relevant example about a company checking a candidate’s CV and personal behavior.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are generally easy to follow because you use clear paragraph breaks and linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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