n many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many nations. Many people think that government should be responsible for
this
, while I personally suppose that parents must be the primary duty on children’s overweight. There are several reasons why children are getting unbalanced shapes. The
first
reason is that children are
allowing
Suggestion
allowed
to intake a large amount of unhealthy
food
on a daily basis. Fast
food
as an example for containing high amount of fat which can lead to
child’s
Suggestion
a child’s
putting-on weight and related diseases. Another reason is that young children often are strongly governed by computer or
technology
Suggestion
technological
devices.
Therefore
, they prefer spending hours and hours sticking their eyes on the screens to taking part in outdoor activities.
Consequently
, the calories they consumed are not burned but internal fat tissue which contributes to obese children. Parents have to take a main responsibility for
this
negative impact.
First
, they should control their offspring’s eating habits. Trying to avoid the unhealthy
food
such
as fried, pizza or even cut the extra meals.
Additionally
, they
also
can encourage their children to live a dynamic life. Adult need to be a child’s good partner
on
Suggestion
with
physical activities, not just tell them verbally.
This
may help children escape from idle lifestyle. The government
also
should take measures to eliminate children’s obesity. Enacting strict legislations that preventing
food
companies from producing unhealthy convenience
food
as well as advertising them on mass media would
also
indirectly keeps children away from high-calorie-contained foods. In conclusion,
although
the government should have responsibility for childhood obesity, each parent of every single family still plays the most important role
on
Suggestion
in
orienting their offspring to a healthy life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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