IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

I definitely agree with the notion that individuals should
change
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 their
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 at least once in life. A number of arguments surround my opinion.
To begin
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with
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with,
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 there are some strong benefits that can come from a
career
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change
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.
One
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 of the major benefits of changing careers is money. People may make more per year than they did with their previous
job
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.
This
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 can help to lessen the financial burden of an individual or family.
Secondly
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, a
career
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change
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 brings
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
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 to learn new skills. They will have to learn new actions and meet new expectations.
This
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 general education
that is
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 formed through a
career
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change
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 will be beneficial in the future. What is more, those who have a wide range of careers under their belt will have more
job
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 security in the long run.
Instead
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 of being proficient at
one
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career
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 path, a person can be proficient
with
Change preposition
in
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 two or even more. If he loses his
job
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, he can seek out jobs in different
career
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 fields, as opposed to
one
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career
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 field.
Therefore
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, his chances of landing a new
job
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 are greater than those who have simply held
one
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career
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.
Finally
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, a
career
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change
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 is good for breaking the monotony. It is psychologically true that whenever a person takes his first
job
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, he is usually excited about it; but in the course of time, his interest wanes
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 soon he begins to suffer from an excruciating boredom. A
career
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change
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 fills him with new excitement that propels him into working with renewed interest and enthusiasm.
To conclude
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, I would like to reiterate my opinion that a
career
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change
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 has many benefits
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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instead
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 of sticking to
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
job
Punctuation problem
job,
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one
Use synonyms
 should
change
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 at least once in
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 if not more times.

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improvement
Add more real and clear examples for each main idea to show how a career change can help.
improvement
Use a smooth flow of words so ideas link nicely from one to the next.
improvement
Check small grammar and word use to avoid awkward phrases and keep simple form.
strength
You answer the question with a clear Yes.
strength
The plan is clear: intro, then body, then a short finish.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • job
  • work
  • change
  • switch
  • learn
  • skill
  • grow
  • new
  • different
  • plan
  • decision
  • choice
  • market
  • demand
  • money
  • salary
  • stability
  • risk
  • time
  • effort
  • future
  • success
  • boredom
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • experience
  • prepare
  • advice
What to do next:
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