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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that what children watch influence their Behaviour for stop other believe the amount of time they spend on television influence their behaviour most discuss both view and give your opinion?

#people #children #influence #behaviour #amount #time #television
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Some people say that what children watch influence their
behaviour
 Pandit other believe the amount of time they spend on
television
 influence their
behaviour
 most discuss both view and give your opinion
behaviour
Suggestion
The behaviour
Behaviour
 is the way which persons are
respond
Suggestion
responding
 to
particular situation
Suggestion
a particular situation
the particular situation
 or email it depend on
person
 to
person
 because it
change
 according to
sitmule
. It depends on
person
 to
person
 because it
change
Suggestion
changes
 according to situations
comma
 various
adult
Suggestion
adults
 are influenced by others habit and some are
change
Suggestion
changing
 their by watching TV or mobile phone I discuss both view in details
.
Accept space
.
first
preceding all others in time or space or degree
First
,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of individuals think that teenagers are influenced by what
the
people in general
they
 see.
married
Suggestion
Married
 children's
are changed
Suggestion
are changing
have changed
change
 their
habits according
Accept comma addition
habits, according
 to their friends like
,
Accept space
,
 in school the youngest will try to be like
elders
Suggestion
elder
 one they will try to adopt their habits like violent
behaviour
.
in
Suggestion
On
In
 the other hand children
change
 their
behaviour
 due to what they see in their homes for examples
comma
 if they watch
conflict
Suggestion
the conflict
 between their
parents children
Accept comma addition
parents, children
 are
changed
Suggestion
changing
 their actions and they can learn abusive language some time parents use abusive words in their conflicts
.
Accept space
.
furthermore
in addition
Furthermore
,
television
also impact
Suggestion
also impacts
has also impacted
is also impacting
 on
adults
Suggestion
adult
adults'
adult's
behaviour
.
they
Suggestion
They
 can easily influenced what they can see and hear on
television
 many toddlers are watching too much TV E and their impact on their eating habits
comma
now a days
the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech
nowadays
 the most of the
adult
Suggestion
adults
 could be disconnected with their natural environment and physical habits, set as playing with their
peers
Suggestion
peer
comma
 bonding with families.
in
Suggestion
In
 spite of
this
 variance
teenagers
Suggestion
teenager
 are
learn
Suggestion
learning
 it
behaviour
 like ok stalling doing violent
behaviour
 with their peers and other due to watching too much TV.
for
Suggestion
For
example they
Accept comma addition
example, they
 watch
action
Suggestion
the action
 and violent movies try to behave like that.
in
Suggestion
In
 addition to
comma
 Noida news channel or
great
Suggestion
greater
 impact on
children
Suggestion
children's
child
behaviour
 like the given news
on
Suggestion
of
 terrorist attacks again and again.
in
Suggestion
In
 conclusion
comma
 I recapitulate my views that
television
 influence the
behaviour
 of
child parents
Suggestion
the child's parents
child's parents
a child's parents
.
Accept space
.
parents
Suggestion
Parents
 teach their children to watch those
program
Suggestion
programs
 which gain the knowledge and increase the education level of the children.
Submitted by naresh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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