The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

In my opinion,
refers to the speaker or writer
I
i
agree that the young today spend a large
a quantity of money
amount
amout
of their leisure in shopping centres because it can bring negative influences on the youths and the society.
First
, spending too much time in shopping centres
Suggestion
consumes
consume
consumers
consums
lots of
Accept comma addition
money, although
money
although
they earn much money or not too much. For
Suggestion
young women
youngwomen
,
Suggestion
every time
everytime
that they see the product which is
Suggestion
sold
selling
saling
, immediately they buy
although
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
sometime
they don't see the cost. They spend a lot of money on clothes, cosmetic,
Accept comma addition
shoes, but
shoes but
they don't use it regularly.
For example
,
Suggestion
young women
youngwomen
see the jeans which
Suggestion
are sailing
is sailing
is selling
is sealing
is saling
about 50% and they buy it without thinking and trying. But later, maybe they just wear it once or twice or if it
Suggestion
doesn't fit
isn't fit
Suggestion
to
with
their body, they will throw away or give it to another person and it is so wasted.
Suggestion
Secondly
Sencondly
, going to the shopping
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
centres
centers
in their free time can decrease their affective work and the communities can suffer from a decrease in the intellectual level because people are more interested in leisure pursuits rather than focusing on their work or
Suggestion
studies
study
. It is undeniable that an avenger
Suggestion
woman
women
spend at least two hours doing shopping while
Suggestion
Shopaholics
shopaholics
can deflate their worked or studied hours to go to shopping. The student
Suggestion
usually stops
usually stop
reading a book and go to the supermarket nearby if someone request them to go out. The young people could slack of their
Suggestion
acquired
acquisition
the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning
knowledge
knownledge
. The economy
also
suffers due to less work being done. In conclusion,
refers to the speaker or writer
I
i
accept as true; take to be true
believe
beleive
that
this
trend has an overall negative on both the young people and the society as a whole.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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