The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

#amount #leisure #time #centers #trend #influences #youths #society

In my opinion,

refers to the speaker or writer

agree that the young today spend a large

amout

a quantity of money

amount

of their leisure in shopping centres because it can bring negative influences on the youths and the society.

First

, spending too much time in shopping centres

consums

Suggestion

consumes

consume

consumers

lots of

money

Accept comma addition

money, although

although

they earn much money or not too much. For

youngwomen

Suggestion

young women

everytime

Suggestion

every time

that they see the product which is

saling

Suggestion

sold

selling

, immediately they buy

although

sometime

on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always

sometimes

they don't see the cost. They spend a lot of money on clothes, cosmetic,

shoes but

Accept comma addition

shoes, but

they don't use it regularly.

For example

youngwomen

Suggestion

young women

see the jeans which

is saling

Suggestion

are sailing

is sailing

is selling

is sealing

about 50% and they buy it without thinking and trying. But later, maybe they just wear it once or twice or if it

isn't fit

Suggestion

doesn't fit

with

Suggestion

their body, they will throw away or give it to another person and it is so wasted.

Sencondly

Suggestion

Secondly

, going to the shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

centres

in their free time can decrease their affective work and the communities can suffer from a decrease in the intellectual level because people are more interested in leisure pursuits rather than focusing on their work or

study

Suggestion

studies

. It is undeniable that an avenger

women

Suggestion

woman

spend at least two hours doing shopping while

shopaholics

Suggestion

Shopaholics

can deflate their worked or studied hours to go to shopping. The student

usually stop

Suggestion

usually stops

reading a book and go to the supermarket nearby if someone request them to go out. The young people could slack of their

acquisition

Suggestion

acquired

knownledge

the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning

knowledge

. The economy

also

suffers due to less work being done. In conclusion,

refers to the speaker or writer

beleive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

that

this

trend has an overall negative on both the young people and the society as a whole.

Submitted by shushi2610 on Mon Apr 01 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, some people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country. Others believe that the government should not allow people to earn salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future, nobody will buy printed books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries, some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Vehicle technology is advancing rapidly and cars that drive themselves have already been developed. In the near future, most people will use driverless cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?