The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

#amount #leisure #time #centers #trend #influences #youths #society

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In my opinion,

refers to the speaker or writer

agree that the young today spend a large

amout

a quantity of money

amount

of their leisure in shopping centres because it can bring negative influences on the youths and the society.

First

Linking Words

, spending too much time in shopping centres

consums

Suggestion

consumes

consume

consumers

lots of

money

Accept comma addition

money, although

although

Linking Words

they earn much money or not too much. For

youngwomen

Suggestion

young women

everytime

Suggestion

every time

that they see the product which is

saling

Suggestion

sold

selling

, immediately they buy

although

Linking Words

sometime

on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always

sometimes

they don't see the cost. They spend a lot of money on clothes, cosmetic,

shoes but

Accept comma addition

shoes, but

they don't use it regularly.

For example

Linking Words

youngwomen

Suggestion

young women

see the jeans which

is saling

Suggestion

are sailing

is sailing

is selling

is sealing

about 50% and they buy it without thinking and trying. But later, maybe they just wear it once or twice or if it

isn't fit

Suggestion

doesn't fit

with

Suggestion

their body, they will throw away or give it to another person and it is so wasted.

Sencondly

Suggestion

Secondly

, going to the shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

centres

in their free time can decrease their affective work and the communities can suffer from a decrease in the intellectual level because people are more interested in leisure pursuits rather than focusing on their work or

study

Suggestion

studies

. It is undeniable that an avenger

women

Suggestion

woman

spend at least two hours doing shopping while

shopaholics

Suggestion

Shopaholics

can deflate their worked or studied hours to go to shopping. The student

usually stop

Suggestion

usually stops

reading a book and go to the supermarket nearby if someone request them to go out. The young people could slack of their

acquisition

Suggestion

acquired

knownledge

the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning

knowledge

. The economy

also

Linking Words

suffers due to less work being done. In conclusion,

refers to the speaker or writer

beleive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

that

this

Linking Words

trend has an overall negative on both the young people and the society as a whole.

Submitted by shushi2610 on Mon Apr 01 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is thought by some that it’s better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason, private cars should be completely banned from city centres. To what extent do you agree or disagree?