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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs show percentage of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs show percentage of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table provides information about the types of functions that were used by mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 owners across seven categories in three specific years – 2006, 2008 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that the most frequent mobile
phone
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 was for making calls. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that there were no figures provided for searching the Internet and recording video in 2006. In each of these years, the use of mobile phones for calling was significantly higher than the other six functions, with 100%
usage
Use synonyms
 levels in both 2006 and 2009 and 99% in 2010. The other three features which include photo taking, sending text messages and playing music, all had a slight increase in the percentage of
usage
Use synonyms
 frequency by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell
phone
Use synonyms
 owners.
In contrast
Linking Words
, recording video had the largest rise in
usage
Use synonyms
 frequency starting with 9% in 2008. By 2010,
this
Linking Words
 figure went up
fourth
Add an article
the fourth
show examples
 fold with 35% of the owners using the
phone
Use synonyms
 for video recording.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
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