IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity- #film #star #sports #personality #celebrity
Celebrity status has both positive and negative aspects
in
Suggestion
of
 people’s lives.
This
 essay believes that the advantages of being famous outweigh the disadvantages, as celebrities have
access
 to VIP events and have great financial rewards.
However
, they
also
 have a lack of privacy that will be
also
 discussed in
this
 essay. Celebrities around the world have
access
 to premier events, which are just for few important people that have
access
 to.
This
 is due to they are known and they will attract the media attention, bringing benefits for both companies and artists. Take the Golden Globe as
a
Suggestion
an
 example;
only people
Suggestion
the only people
 that were invited have
access
 to the red carpet.
In addition
, famous personalities receive high payments that allow them to live a comfortable life with their families.
For instance
,
Super Bowl
Suggestion
a Super Bowl
the Super Bowl
 in the USA every year choose a celebrity to perform
at
Suggestion
on
 their stage during the game break and they pay thousand of dollars for
this
 presentation.
However
, being famous have some drawbacks and the major
complain
Suggestion
complaint
 is about the lack of privacy. Many artists have to deal with Paparazzi in their day-to-day lives, since they follow them everywhere in order to have breaking news. The TV program E!, has many journalists following celebrities everyday to take a picture or recording a video of their private moments to publish in the gossip magazines. In conclusion, even though celebrities have to be aware that their lives can be exposed by the Paparazzi, the benefits of being famous far outweigh the negative aspects, since they are very well compensate with high salaries and
access
 to events that can make them even more famous.
Submitted by saracs5544 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: