IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

“some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#“some #parents #childcare #centres #services #children #age #members #grandparents #carers #kids”
People have different views with regard to the question of how to provide best services for kids. In my opinion, pre - school students will have better environment when they are in kindergarten than staying with closed members. On one hand, many busy parents think that relatives
such
 as grandparents, aunts, and cousins will give safer
cares
a motor vehicle with four wheels; usually propelled by an internal combustion engine
cars
 and love for their kids because of blood relationship. By looking after only one or two kids, grandparents can pay more attention to the child and keep them stay away from being
hurting
Suggestion
hurt
 or swallowing small pieces of furniture.
Furthermore
, the kids really love their closed members, and
this
 makes them feel comfortable and happy to be cared by them.
On the other hand
, childcare
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 play a crucial role in educating young kids nowadays. All teachers and staffs are trained in a professional environment
such
 as universities or colleges before working
at
Suggestion
in
kindergarten
Suggestion
a kindergarten
.
This
 will
allows
Suggestion
allow
 students to improve their
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
behaviours
 and know how to
interactive
Suggestion
interact
interaction
interactions
 with teachers and other friends.
Moreover
, according to recent research, young kids learn and imitate everything quicker than others,
that is
 the reason why teachers always stimulate kids to hold the chopsticks and eat by themselves.
Additionally
, many international preschools in Vietnam teach extra-curricular subjects
such
 as English, Arts, Music, and outdoor activities for children which will provide full development of pre- school kids. In conclusion, while some people think that family members will provide better care, I believe that childcare centers bring more benefits for kindergarten students
Submitted by nguyendoantrang1303 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: