In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some are of the opinion that this had negative effects on their health. What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with this idea.

It has been witnessed the change in either eating preference or living routine of children for over decades
on
Suggestion
in
all over the world. Some people argue that
this
can cause a variety of negative effects to their own
health
. I fully agree to the fact that
this
change is harming
youngster
Suggestion
youngster's
health
day by day. Eating preferences are getting worse than it used to be. The
first
explanation for
this
issue is children are likely to consume too much junk food
such
as potato chips, pizzas, hamburgers and so on.
Therefore
, kids are easily getting
obesity which
Suggestion
obese, which
obese which
might lead to some serious disease like cardiovascular, high-blood pressure or stroke. The
second
reason is that youngster seems to eat outside more
frequently which
Accept comma addition
frequently, which
can cause food poisoning and impact badly on the immune system
to
Suggestion
in
children. Not only
eating habit but
Suggestion
an eating habit, but
an eating habit but
also
lifestyle is becoming worse and worse.
Initially
, kids tend to take less exercise than previous generations. To be more specific, the curriculum might cause too much
pressure
Accept comma addition
pressure, thus
thus
they have to study harder.
That is
the reason why kids spend less time to take exercise. Another reason is that they tend to sleep less owing to playing too much video game in their
sparetime
Suggestion
spare time
.
This
can show that youngsters are wasting their
health
badly and starting a sedentary lifestyle.
Therefore
,
this
living routine could carry
health
risks than ever before as
this
make
Suggestion
makes
our children become extremely passive to everything. Among those,
this
change has caused
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
on children on
this
day and age.
Consequently
, people should educate their child about the primary
health
care as soon as possible.
Moreover they
Accept comma addition
Moreover, they
can make an effort to balance the nutrition in one meal in order to take a good care to members of their family.
Submitted by nguyenvuonggiabao28 on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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