Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?

It is often argued by many that
employees
higher up in the organizational command chain being paid more
in contrast
to those lower down in command is a positive trend. I fully believe that paying
CEO's
Change noun form
CEOs
show examples
and
FA's
Change noun form
FAs
show examples
more money than new recruits is completely justified.
Firstly
, those higher up in the hierarchy have been working for many more years than those lower down.
Therefore
, they offer more experience.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
means, they are more valuable to companies and have more to offer in terms of knowledge and wisdom.
In addition
to
this
, their positions require more effort and skills that they have acquired over time.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
they should be compensated financially for their hard duties.
Furthermore
, these
employees
usually work longer hours and take their work home.
This
is exemplified by Microsoft, Bill
gates
Capitalize word
Gates
show examples
, the CEO of the organization, who is on duty 18 hours per day,
as well as
, has the most computer knowledge background as opposed to the people working underneath him.
Consequently
, he is paid 6 million dollars per year.
Overall
, it is good that
employees
are paid based on how much they deserve.
Secondly
, when junior staff see their seniors earning so much, they are encouraged to work harder to reach their positions. Creating a sense of encouragement and motivation, in turn, they become more ambitious.
Although
their monthly allowance is not as high, it is fair, because they know through
preserverence
Correct your spelling
perseverance
they will climb up in the system.
For instance
, a
world known
Add a hyphen
world-known
show examples
publication in 2016,
Maslows
Change to a genitive case
Maslow's
show examples
hierarchy
Capitalize word
Hierarchy
show examples
of
needs
Capitalize word
Needs
show examples
, puts
self- actualization
Correct your spelling
self-actualization
show examples
at the top of the chart, above esteem,
this
means that people are motivated to push forward and become
recognzied
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
,
thus
earning more as they go along.
Overall
, those in lower
poistions
Correct your spelling
positions
are worthy of lower salaries. In conclusion, the reimbursement of top dog
employees
with bigger fortunes as opposed to new interns is an
overall
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advategeous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
progression.
Submitted by leena_likey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the given prompt and fully develops a position on the topic. Provide balanced arguments and consider counter-arguments to strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a more coherent manner, with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases and logical sequencing of ideas to improve cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: