In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a
controlversial
marked by or capable of arousing controversy
controversial
controversy
debate that pupils should be offered only primary
education
Use synonyms
if their
country
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has
high
Suggestion
a high unemployment rate
unemployment
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rate
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and it is not
neccesary
absolutely essential
necessary
to offer secondary
education
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because the chance of finding a
job
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is
little
Suggestion
less
. I strongly
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
this
Linking Words
statement has many flaws
such
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as
undefined correlation
Suggestion
undefined correlations
between
education
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and
unemployment
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.
Accept space
.
Hence
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, I do not agree with it.
First
Linking Words
of all, we need to understand the reasons behind
high
Suggestion
the high unemployment rate
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
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. In many cases, the high
unemployment
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rate
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is due to the economic situation
such
Linking Words
as high inflation or ability of government to run the
economy
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. Those economics indicators represent the health of the
country
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and likely correlated with
job
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market
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. Barring pupils from secondary
education
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does not contribute to the progression of
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economy but
Suggestion
the economy, but
the economy but
also
Linking Words
cuts its potential growth
rate
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.
For instance
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, secondary educated pupils should be able to adapt to working environment better than the primary one.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people with minimum
education
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may seek for jobs oversea at developed
country
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where there is always a need of
immigrant
Suggestion
immigrant labour workers
immigrant labour worker
the immigrant labour worker
labor
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worker. Singapore is a good example where there a lot of low educated people working
in
Suggestion
on
construction sites and maids working
at
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in
households. Those oversea jobs are great sources of foreign currency
to
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in
the home
country
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.
Moreover
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, the idea of people has no chance finding a
job
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even he or she got secondary
education
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contains a major flaw.
Job
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market
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is defined by demand and supply of skilled and qualified
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labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
and the size of
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
the job market
a job market
market
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is driven by
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economy
Suggestion
the economy
and development, obviously people with higher
education
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is preferred, even that
job
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requires no
education
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at all and even the size of
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job
Suggestion
the job market
a job market
market
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is small, there will always be need of
Use synonyms
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
for any industry.
For example
Linking Words
, demand of
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labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
is
Suggestion
has been
always present at low development
country
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or rural area.
This
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idea is not only solving the
economy
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issue but
Accept comma addition
issue, but
also
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represent the weakness in
coutry
(United Kingdom) a region created by territorial division for the purpose of local government
county
city
government. To conclude, high
unemployment
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rate
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is an issue of any
economy
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and providing pupils with only primary
eduation
the activities of educating or instructing; activities that impart knowledge or skill
education
is not the solution to that problem and doing so may limit the
Use synonyms
country
Suggestion
country's
potential growth
rate
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in future.
Submitted by ngo.h.duc on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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