IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Consumption of
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, especially, need of social media has increased exponentially for
last
 few years. I intend that social media has brought benefits in our lives rather than disadvantages, if we
use
 it properly. There are over 1 billion Facebook accounts which used
regular
Suggestion
regularly
.
From
Suggestion
For
 kindergarten kids to pension elders
use
 it too. Social media is used for communication and entertainment. It allows us to contact anyone who is on the other side of the earth without any charge.
Moreover
, it gives us opportunity to get latest information and keep up with the world trend.
Also
, if you have
desire
Suggestion
a desire
the desire
 to share anything unique you can do with others,
it
it is
it's
 the best way to introduce yourself.
However
, social media has
dark side
Suggestion
a dark side
 too. The most crucial thing is personal information confidentiality. When using social media, you must know what you are doing. Clicking on one button, you are
in
Suggestion
at
 risk to share your very private information. Usually, elders or kids, who is not familiar
to
Suggestion
with
 modern technology has to be careful. Leaving their account open in public internet
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, possibility to occur fraud might increase. In Mongolia, there is warning inducted from
Police
Suggestion
the Police
 that
says
express in words
tells
 people to not leave open their account in any place and tell anyone their password or not to access risky links which derived from unknown source. Despite the fact that too many risks it is followed with, people still
use
 social media. It became essential part of their life. I believe that, as long as people
follows
Suggestion
follow
 security steps and be aware of losing confidentiality of their accounts, it is safe to
use
 it and keep on receiving
advantages
Suggestion
the advantages
 of social media.
Submitted by diegobleite on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: