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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people expect that the proportion of old people will be more than the young people in the future. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

#people #proportion #future #development
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It is anticipated that in the future, the rate of retired people will be more than
the young
Suggestion
younger
 people.
while
Suggestion
While
 many people think it will have positive effects,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 claim that
this
Linking Words
 development will have negative influences on the society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the reason why
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think to have more the old in country can affect adversely to the society is due to low physical strength and mental problems. If having old
employee
Suggestion
employed
 in
work places
a place where work is done
workplaces
 can cause the decreasing of the quality of outcome.
For instance
Linking Words
, while young workers can do some projects for a week, the old do the same work for two weeks.
Thus
Linking Words
, it may cause several issues in
company
Suggestion
the company
,
Accept space
,
and in the country the level of work quality will decrease. As we live in
technological era
Suggestion
a technological era
the technological era
, everyone should use new technological gadgets, and everywhere is constructed on the base of computers and robots. As the old cannot utilize all of them and, it leads to being behind
of
Suggestion
in
 development.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
having more old teachers can
also
Linking Words
 influence education.
while
Suggestion
While
 they teach students with traditional methods, students will not improve knowledge and horizon in their modernized era. To conclude, to have
more old
Suggestion
older
 people
is
Suggestion
be
 more likely to have benefits, but
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 strongly claim that it will have negative effects on society in the future.
Submitted by nhaciyeva183 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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