Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

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Famous people as supermodels and movie stars nowadays or in the past, they used to receive so much money

comparing

Suggestion

compared

with other people who are assumed to do more important jobs as doctors or engineers.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they live a luxury lifestyle by just work for two or three

month

Suggestion

months

in the year.

However

Linking Words

, due to the luxury and the empty

life some

Accept comma addition

life, some

of them get depressed.

Linking Words

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, some of them commit suicide

such

Linking Words

as Marilyn Monroe. She was a

super star

someone who is dazzlingly skilled in any field

superstar

when she

decide

Suggestion

decides

to end her life.In fact, many of them think because they have everything

Accept space

so nothing seems interesting anymore.

For example

Linking Words

, in the past the used to enjoy their birthday party.

Espeically

Suggestion

Especially

gifts, but now they can just buy what they want

Accept space

On the other hand

Linking Words

being a famous person mean

Suggestion

was a famous person meant

is a famous person meant

has a famous person meant

being a famous person mean

that you have to be so careful in the way you talk, clothes, even the way you eat.

Aswell

Suggestion

As well

, you have to be nice with people who always asks for photos

with out

in absence of

without

considering your feeling.

Besides

Linking Words

, sometime they

just takes

Suggestion

just take

are just taking

pictures without any permission.

despite

Suggestion

Despite

that

Accept space

public believe

that is

Linking Words

part of being a celebrity and I partly agree with that but.

Also

Linking Words

, I believe that even

Celebries

a widely known person

celebrities

need some privacy. In conclusion, being Celebrity it dose not mean that

every thing

all things

everything

is allowed, as a famous person and a role model they need to behave well.

In addition

Linking Words

, we still have to

thinke

judge or regard; look upon; judge

think

that all these celebrities are

huomns

all of the living human inhabitants of the earth

humans

and some time they make mistakes.

Linking Words

also

Suggestion

Also

, we have to respect their personal space.

asd43214321asdWed Apr 17 2019

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

Your opinion

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both views anf give your opinion ?

Robots are taking all jobs all around the world. Do you agree or disagree?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?