Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives #price

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Famous people as supermodels and movie stars nowadays or in the past, they used to receive so much money

comparing

Suggestion

compared

with other people who are assumed to do more important jobs as doctors or engineers.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they live a luxury lifestyle by just work for two or three

month

Suggestion

months

in the year.

However

Linking Words

, due to the luxury and the empty

life some

Accept comma addition

life, some

of them get depressed.

Linking Words

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, some of them commit suicide

such

Linking Words

as Marilyn Monroe. She was a

super star

someone who is dazzlingly skilled in any field

superstar

when she

decide

Suggestion

decides

to end her life.In fact, many of them think because they have everything

Accept space

so nothing seems interesting anymore.

For example

Linking Words

, in the past the used to enjoy their birthday party.

Espeically

Suggestion

Especially

gifts, but now they can just buy what they want

Accept space

On the other hand

Linking Words

being a famous person mean

Suggestion

was a famous person meant

is a famous person meant

has a famous person meant

being a famous person mean

that you have to be so careful in the way you talk, clothes, even the way you eat.

Aswell

Suggestion

As well

, you have to be nice with people who always asks for photos

with out

in absence of

without

considering your feeling.

Besides

Linking Words

, sometime they

just takes

Suggestion

just take

are just taking

pictures without any permission.

despite

Suggestion

Despite

that

Accept space

public believe

that is

Linking Words

part of being a celebrity and I partly agree with that but.

Also

Linking Words

, I believe that even

Celebries

a widely known person

celebrities

need some privacy. In conclusion, being Celebrity it dose not mean that

every thing

all things

everything

is allowed, as a famous person and a role model they need to behave well.

In addition

Linking Words

, we still have to

thinke

judge or regard; look upon; judge

think

that all these celebrities are

huomns

all of the living human inhabitants of the earth

humans

and some time they make mistakes.

Linking Words

also

Suggestion

Also

, we have to respect their personal space.

Submitted by asd43214321asd on Wed Apr 17 2019

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

Your opinion

An old friend of yours is coming to visit your city. You had planned to meet him at the airport, but something has come up and you will not be able to make it there on time. Write to your friend, In your letter Explain the situation Offer to make alternative arrangements.

n many countries, people like to eat a wider variety of food than can be grown in their local area. As a result, much of the food people eat today has to come from other regions. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

write a referral letter to an endocrinologist