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Band 5.5

Question: the government should make people take responsibility for their action to the environment. To what extent do you agree?

#government #people #responsibility #action #environment
Today
Suggestion
Today's
 environment is not only damaged by plants or
cars but
Accept comma addition
cars, but
 by people’s individual attitude toward it, as well. Some people’s promotion about a concept that, governments should share their environmental responsibility with their inhabitants as well, is not on par with adherents of
this
 notion.
Nevertheless
, I strongly concur with that idea due to
plethora
Suggestion
the plethora
a plethora
 of cogent reasons.
This
 essay will divulge these reasons and draw appropriate conclusion. Above all, the adverse impact that persons have been
making
Suggestion
made
, is
crucial factor
Suggestion
a crucial factor
the crucial factor
 that had cajoled the government to come up with
this
 initiative. The implementation of
this
 would ameliorate the acute environmental situation,
such
 as littering or even air pollution.
For instance
, if people take responsibility for their every action to the environment, the heartbreaking advancement of the
nature
a vaguely specified concern
matter
 would be reduced.
Consequently
, the negative influence of people may be eradicated or altered to the positive one.
Furthermore
, intention of every person for environmental healthy milieu would be
large step
Suggestion
a large step
 toward the addressing the natural issues. To illustrate that more, littering would be perfect example, which requires every single person’s attention to be solved and government have found out the remedy via drawing attention their dwellers. If
this
 sort of problematic conditions had been solved not only on
global level but
Suggestion
a global level, but
a global level but
the global level but
also
 with individuals simultaneously,
this
problems
Suggestion
problem
 that we are confronting would have already been
overcame
Suggestion
overcome
. The conclusion to be drawn is that, with collaboration of both sides, authorities and individuals
,
Accept space
,
 environmental difficulties that we have can be coped efficiently and eradicated completely.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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