IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

#people #car #transportation #reliance #cars
Cars are the most common means of
transport
 nowadays and they are rising rapidly day by day.
This
 essay will discuss the common problems cars can cause. It was
also
suggest
Suggestion
suggested
 solutions to these problems. The commonest problems that people face due to over reliance on cars is the
traffic
 the cars produce. Sometimes each individual in the family owns a car which is unnecessary because it overcrowds the
streets making
Accept comma addition
streets, making
 it difficult for people to reach their destination on time.
For example
, a lot of students are late to class due to
traffic
 on the streets. Another issue is
air
pollution
 produced by cars due to combustion of
oil
Suggestion
the oil
. Which can in turn increase the risk of global warming.
For instance
, it has been said that cars produce around 30% of
air
pollution
. Over relying
of
Suggestion
on
 cars will increase the use of cars and
therefore
 result in
traffic
 and
air
pollution
. The solution for these problems include use of other means of
transport
such
 as: bicycles or even walking if the place is close by
inorder
Suggestion
in order
 to reduce
air
pollution
.
Also
, the solution for
traffic
 can be using public
transport
such
 as buses or train.
For example
,
instead
 of taking cars to go to school children can take the school
bus which
Accept comma addition
bus, which
 will reduce the load on the street.
Therefore in
Accept comma addition
Therefore, in
 order to reduce problems that arise from private cars other means of
transport
 can be taken. In conclusion,
this
 essay discussed the issues that arise due to over dependence
of
Suggestion
on
 private cars and
this
 essay
also
 suggested two main solutions to these issues.
Submitted by h.isam457 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: