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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. What is your opinion?

#people #children #time #activities #waste
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Many children have extra
time
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 in-between school and lessons. Some people believe that
this
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time
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 should be best spent including an educational activity while others believe it is best for them to enjoy their freedom. I believe that children should have the freedom to do what they desire with the extra
time
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 they have. The
educational
Suggestion
education
 world
has been becoming
Suggestion
has become
 more competitive in recent years.
Hence
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, many parents and educators believe that it is necessary for a
child
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 to undergo extra classes during their free
time
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. The more educational activities a
child
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 does;
such
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 as learning a new language or going for tuition can improve their grades which makes applying to university easier.
Thus
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, many parents believe that by taking part in educational activities during their free
time
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 will give them an upper hand.
However
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, I believe that during a
child
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’s free
time
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 it is important that they do what they want. By forcing children to take part in
activities
Suggestion
the activities
 it shifts the importance of a
child
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’s mental wellbeing and places more importance on education.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to drastic consequences in the future as the
child
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 would only measure his or her success based on their academic one rather
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then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 their personal success. In conclusion,
although
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 placing an importance on educational activities during a
child
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’s free
time
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 might improve their chances at university it can cause a
child
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 to act out and disobey their parents in the future.
Linking Words
Therefore in
Accept comma addition
Therefore, in
 my opinion a
child
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’s free
time
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 does not have to include an educational activity.
Submitted by sansans2011 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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