Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

Over the

last

10 years, the entertainment industry has risen to a significant level, making it capable to pay its actor and artist a good amount of salary.

This

eventually inclined the people to develop the same mentality and even I agree with the

given opinion

Suggestion

opinion given

. In

this

essay, I will discuss the main reason behind

this

also

some other related profession which needs to be paid more for the amount commitment put it in. The hard work and the dedication put in behind the lens while recording a movie or songs, cannot be even compensated by the high pay.

Additionally

, being an actor, artist or a

sportsperson

bring

Suggestion

brings

a lot of social responsibilities with it, as you are the person who always remains in the limelight of the society and

furthermore

the young generation refers to your action in each case.

For instance

, Nikhil Sharma, a famous YouTube creator in India generates around 30 lakh

rupee

Suggestion

rupees

from the regular video production,

besides

this

his followers always find him

indulged

Suggestion

indulging

in social activities, which is used as social norms and can

also

attract others to the same.

However

, there are some professions

such

as doctors, teachers, and

Defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

personnel which are often not paid less compared to the work involved in their services.

For example

, a Traffic Police Inspector

works

Suggestion

has worked

unbroken for 14 hours a day in extremely hazardous conditions which can

also

affect its physical and mental fitness, just to entitle his family for a better tomorrow and enable them to reach great heights. To Sum up, I believe that no one can deny the amount of diligence and regularity required in

such

the fields of sports and film industry, which can be a justification for

the high

Suggestion

higher

pay.

Moreover

, there are some other sections of the society work which remains

unrevealed

eminent beyond or above comparison

unrivalled

in common eye that requires the same facilities.

Submitted by vinusharma27 on Tue Apr 30 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Many people think that the government should not restrict what people say in public media as it is part of freedom of speech. To what extent do you agree to this statement?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays more and more people are using media like TV or online platforms to read news instead of reading newspapers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?