Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Certain members of the society consider that retiring a particular
age
is biased. They are
also
of the opinion that particular set of workers can retire and earn a pension before a stipulated
age
. I agree with
this
opinion.
However
, there are some occupations which does not need to adhere to early retirement option. Occupations related to the technology or services
does not involve
Suggestion
do not involve
physical activity, typically their office environment is quite comfortable. Not only the people in
this
industry have less physical
stress but
Accept comma addition
stress, but
also
they have minimal mental stress.
This
allows them to
work
till they cross the
age
of 65 or even
latter
coming at a subsequent time or stage
later
.
Also
, these people have
better
Suggestion
a better work life balance
work
life balance due to the flexibility of the
work
timings.
Therefore
, people working in
this
sector should be allowed to retire only after reaching the specified
age
. There are other types of
work
which involve high physical and mental activities. These involve occupations like army services, fire-fighting, doctors etc.
This
set of people
do not have
Suggestion
does not have
a particular time for
work
, they are required to be on duty basis the situation because of
this
their
work
life balance is hampered. Since, the nature of the
work
is very intense it takes a toll on their physical and mental
wellbeing
Suggestion
well being
. In these cases the people should be allowed to retire at an
age
of their choice. In conclusion, the
age
of retirement is highly correlated to the type of
work
that person does. Companies and organizations should consider
this
while setting the
age
limit for retirement, thereby there is mutual benefit.
Submitted by blah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: