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Band 4

Ques: Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience.

#ques #people #university #guarantee #job #work
It is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
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 fact that
recruitement
Correct your spelling
recruitment
 criteria in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 changing.
Although
, some people believe that university
degree
 holders land in reputed industries, others believe that learning the right skills with work experience matters more. Before putting forward any opinion, it is important to investigate both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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aspects of
this
 argument. On the one hand, it is commonly thought that procuring
theoritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 knowledge is essential before getting into practical implementation.
This
 is because, only if a pupil has the factual insight of the subject
then
 only he is fit for the work. For illustration, in Japan, 65%
doctors
Change preposition
of doctors
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 who own
MD
Correct article usage
an MD
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degree
 performed
well
Rephrase
better
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospitals than MBBS
degree
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
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 It is evident that higher
post-graduates
Correct your spelling
post-graduate
show examples
doctors tend to excel better in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 as compared to medical graduates.
In other words
, medical
practicioners
Correct your spelling
practitioners
 who are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the symptoms and repercussions of a disease will be able to diagnose and cure it effectively.
On the other hand
, it is often thought that 'Experience is the best teacher' and students tend to learn swiftly when they are taught to comprehend
while
 working.
This
 is because, when interns are positioned in an environment directly where they acquire the skillset required for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment, they ought to grasp it more constructively.
For example
, in India, 55%
agile
Change preposition
of agile
show examples
 scrum masters who learned directly at the work platform earned more proficiency than those who completed their masters in
subject
Add an article
the subject
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.
To conclude
,
while
 many people say that university graduates secure their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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degree
, others believe that experience enhances the expertise in the subject and
hence
,
helpful
Add a missing verb
is helpful
show examples
to seize
Change preposition
in seizing
show examples
 a job. After discussing both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views, I personally believe that acquiring an academic
degree
 is the key to
bag
Verb problem
getting
show examples
 a good job.
Since
Correct word choice
apply
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I have
myself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
completed
MCA
Correct article usage
an MCA
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 from
reputed
Add an article
a reputed
show examples
 university and
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
I'm working as
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 Software Engineer
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Microsoft.
Submitted by prabhavbhi on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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