There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisers claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#amount #children #goods #toys #snacks #parents #advertisements #pressure #advertisers #information

In the world today

Accept space

Suggestion

an advertisement

is an important marketing strategy which companies use to provide information about their goods.

However when

Accept comma addition

However, when

this

is directed at children, parents are concerned that it puts unnecessary stress on the children. I quite agree with the parents.

Firstly

, children can be very persistent when they want something not minding if it’s good or bad for them.

, via any media, frequently exposes the child to some goods which

further

increases the child’s desire for these

things

Accept comma addition

things, therefore

therefore

if they can’t have these products, it becomes a problem.

For example

, a child that sees a particular toy

that is

constantly advertised in a store and steals it just so he could have it.

Furthermore

, some

are

Suggestion

exaggerated which

Accept comma addition

exaggerated, which

increases the expectations of the users and

this

makes them disappointed.

However

Suggestion

the advertisement

is a useful means of providing information

such

as how, where, when or who to use a certain product.

For

instance is

Accept comma addition

instance, is

a milk box which is sometimes difficult for children to

open but

Accept comma addition

open, but

when

this

is described and demonstrated on a

television

Suggestion

television advertisement, it

it becomes easier for the child to use.

Also there

Accept comma addition

Also, there

are some snacks that contain ingredients that some children may be allergic

to and

Accept comma addition

to, and

this

information is sometimes provided in the

. In conclusion, creating awareness about goods is important for children because it keeps them informed and makes usage

easier

Accept comma addition

easier, although

although

it sometimes creates unnecessary pressure for both the parents and children.

Submitted by oyenafisat on Tue May 07 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

Many processed foods and ready-meals contain preservatives and chemicals Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

There are more workers who work from home and more students who study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper.Do you agree or disagree?