3. Many people today are worried about young children using video games. what problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole.? How could these problems be reduced.?

#people #children #video #games #society

Children are indulging in playing

video

games more often than ever. Many people are concerned about their detrimental effects in the future. There adverse effects on children and

community

Suggestion

the community

communities

will be discussed and some possible solutions presented in

this

essay.

Firstly

, the negative effects of

video

games are experienced by children,

first

hand. As many of these games require a minimal level of intelligence and concentration to be enjoyed, the mental agility of

children

Suggestion

the children

suffers.

Moreover

, their interest in education decreases in proportion to their hours of

video

game engagements.

This

is because

video

games are instantly

rewarding

Suggestion

rewarded

as compared to homework, which is perceived by them as a waste of time.

Secondly

, society suffers in terms of increased crime rates and prevailing obesity. These are because most

video

games encourage violence and long periods of sitting. These children, inspired by the action in

video

games, try to replicate the violence in the real world.

Also

, the sedentary lifestyle culminates into

obesity which

Accept comma addition

obesity, which

puts a strain on the health system of a society.

However

, there are some solutions which can buffer these problems.

For instance

, the

video

games can be designed to be more informative and less violent.

This

can be in the form of introducing challenges on geography, biology, or historical events.

This

way, the child will be mentally

engaged

Accept comma addition

engaged, in

in addition

to being more informed at the same time. Another solution to control the menacing effects of

video

games is that parents reward a child for abandoning computer games.

For example

, they can take him to his favourite park if he gives up playing

video

games and engage in

competitive

Suggestion

competition

, physical sports. In conclusion,

video

games are detrimental

for

Suggestion

the child's education as well as health, but the situation can be mitigated by proper initiatives.

Submitted by splitterr on Tue May 14 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
interpersonal skills
violent content
academic performance
social isolation
family dynamics
educational campaigns
parental controls
alternative activities
content ratings
cognition

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3. Many people today are worried about young children using video games. what problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole.? How could these problems be reduced.?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result

Some people think that governments should provide subsidies to farmers to produce cheap healthy food. Others think that governments should tax companies producing unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative developnment?

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?