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Writing Samples
Band 5

The TV, music and friends have great mpact on the development on the child. Some think the family has great impact .Discuss and give your opinions

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The issue of the factors that
influence
Use synonyms
 the development of the
child
Use synonyms
 remains a
tropical
pertaining to the surface of a body part
topical
 debate. Some people believe that friends,
music
Use synonyms
, and TV
has
Suggestion
have
 greater impact, whilst some say it is the family which has
greater impact
Suggestion
a greater impact
the greater impact
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 am going to discuss both sides of the argument and
also
Linking Words
 give my opinion. Those who support the
ideat
the content of cognition; the main thing you are thinking about
idea
 that the TV,
music
Use synonyms
 and friends have a more contributions
on
Suggestion
in
to
for
 the growth of the
child
Use synonyms
, have the belief that a
child
Use synonyms
 learn new things from relationship
such
Linking Words
 as friendship.
For example
Linking Words
, if a
child
Use synonyms
 plays with a bully, the
child
Use synonyms
 has a higher chance of becoming a bully
also
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they stated that television programs have
also
Linking Words
 an
influence
Use synonyms
 on the
child
Use synonyms
, as the
child
Use synonyms
 watches certain
programs
Suggestion
program's
program
 learning will
also
Linking Words
 be taking place.
As a result
Linking Words
, a
child
Use synonyms
 who enjoys violent movies can easily turn to be violent.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, they said,
music
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a form of socialisation, a
child
Use synonyms
 will end up behaving in line with the
music
Use synonyms
 he or she enjoys.
For
Linking Words
example those
Accept comma addition
example, those
 who enjoy
music
Use synonyms
 from Lucky Dube they may end up being Rastafarians. On
the the
definite article
the
 other hand, some are of the idea that, family has more
influence
Use synonyms
 because the family is responsible of controlling everything in the
child
Use synonyms
's life including friends,
music
Use synonyms
 and TV channels to be watched. To add more, the
child
Use synonyms
usually trust
Suggestion
usually trusts
 his or her parents and siblings more than anyone else. Due to that, the
child
Use synonyms
 takes his or parents as his or her role model and mentor. Owing to
this
Linking Words
 the
child
Use synonyms
 can easily copy either the parents'
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 or
thevbehaviour
Suggestion
 of other siblings. A case in point, if a
child
Use synonyms
 was brought up by abusive parents the
child
Use synonyms
 has higher chances of becoming abusive to his or her family. For the reasons stated above, one can safely say, the family has a greater
influence
Use synonyms
 during the early stages of the
child
Use synonyms
's life. In conclusion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 personally think the greatest impact lies in the hands of the family since they are able to control each and every aspect of the
child
Use synonyms
's life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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