Given high unemployment rate it is recommended that the government only provide primary education and no Secondary Education what do you think?

Whilst, some people argue that the authority should provide primary
education
and no Secondary
Education
.
however
Suggestion
However
, it is
increase
Suggestion
increasing
unemployment
percentage. I firmly disagree with the statement presented, I elucidate my stand and the following paragraphs. Sewing work with, there are my red reasons why I am claiming that
government
should provide higher
education
to individuals. The
first
and an important reason is that, the employment rate rising in these days. The
government
only provide
Suggestion
only provides
is only providing
has only provided
mobile secondary
education
is
also
indispensable for everyone.
Furthermore
, there is no doubt
,
Accept space
,
if people are less educated
unemployment
rate automatically increased.
For example
,
Accept space
,
in Pakistan and Bangladesh have not superior advance
education
system.
consequently
Suggestion
Consequently
, as compare to
few years
Suggestion
a few years
,
Accept space
,
there are
unemployment
rating are rapidly
increases
Suggestion
increasing
.
In addition
, for country development and success advanced
education
is necessary for every person.
As a result
,
today's
Suggestion
today
everything is influenced by Technology
.
Accept space
.
Due to advancement of Technology
,
Accept space
,
companies
requires
Suggestion
require
more skilled employees for
job
Suggestion
the job
. For learning skills higher
education
is compulsory. Primary
education
is a base of
literacy
Accept comma addition
literacy, however
however
for job vacancy business sectors needed high
qualify
Suggestion
to qualify
Workers.
Also high
Suggestion
Also, higher
Also higher
education
has some benefits, people understand about birth control, which is important for controlling population
for
Suggestion
to
stop and as the country's population
slowly decrease
Suggestion
slowly decreases
, the
unemployment
rate will
also
gradually decline.
Therefore
, it is really important for the
government
to provide a decent
education
for the people.
In
Suggestion
At
the conclusion,
although
, primary
education
is
important
Accept comma addition
important, however
however
secondary
education
should be compulsory
government
should provide advanced
education
this
step blade used
unemployment
percentage and
it
it is
it's
also
helpful for country progress.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: