IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
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Are we buying more stuff than we need? Recent research indicates that a large number of people who run into debt is because they have bought things that they cannot afford with its wages. The endless desire of buying unnecessary things is caused for many reasons and some solutions are
mentionated
make reference to
mentioned
 below.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the trend nowadays is towards buying things on the internet even if people do not need or use them.
In addition
Linking Words
, thanks to technology and online stores hardly a week goes by without receiving a sales email of some important brand with incredible discounts that in physical stores are not given.
As a result
Linking Words
, people
clic
a short light metallic sound
click
clicks
 on the advertisement and end up buying something that they did not need it. But, where does
this
Linking Words
 desire of buying more material things comes from? Many experts say that we are
living
the act of departing
leaving
 faster than ever before.Paradoxically is we
achive
to gain with effort
achieve
achieved
 more
then
Linking Words
, we want more
consequently
Linking Words
, we buy more
hence
Linking Words
, we need to work more. It is never ending
,
Accept space
,
we are constantly having a vicious life. The more people
have the
Accept comma addition
have, the
 more they lost focus
.
Accept space
.
To begin
Linking Words
 to tackle
this
Linking Words
 situation, individuals need to start taking some meditation courses
ir
Suggestion
 order to be more aware of the situations lest take rush decisions when people see advertisements
also
Linking Words
, people should ask
this
Linking Words
 question before buy something
,
Accept space
,
do
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 really need
this
Linking Words
? In
this
Linking Words
 way people can start to be more conscious about the money they spend.
For instance
Linking Words
, in countries like
India where
Accept comma addition
India, where
 meditation is taught in schools
since
Suggestion
from
 early childhood are the ones where people only purchase stuffs with a real purpose of use. To sum up, excess material
possesions
the act of having and controlling property
possessions
 do not enrich our lives. No marketer is pulling out our credit card at a register or
clicling
a short light metallic sound
clicking
 to ship.In
fact buying
Accept comma addition
fact, buying
 things we do not need
keep
Suggestion
to keep
 away people from being who they really are, meditation
is highly need
Suggestion
has highly needed
 it so as to open our
concious
Suggestion
consciousness
conscious
 and spent money on what they need.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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