It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the present age, people can live longer than ever
before thanks
Accept comma addition
before, thanks
to scientific and technological
development
.
However
,
higher percentage
Suggestion
a higher percentage
of the elderly will benefit the society in certain ways. As well as offering my opinion,
this
essay will discuss the merits and downsides of
high proportion
Suggestion
a high proportion
of older people in the future.
To begin
with, higher longevity of
population
Suggestion
the population
brings some benefits in terms of sustainable
development
of society. More specifically, older people possess traditional values and precious experience that can be used to educate younger generations.
Although
there are some innovative and modern processes, various issues can be successfully dealt with previous professional tricks and experience. If the youth get informed about
such
things, they will be more productive and labour saving. But would ageing population be really helpful?
However
, there is a myriad of problems that can be anticipated from
this
phenomenon.
Firstly
, allocation of pension for retiring people will place a burden on
national budget
Suggestion
the national budget
national budgets
.
This
unfortunately leads to
smaller proportion
Suggestion
a smaller proportion
the smaller proportion
of working adults due to
increasing number
Suggestion
an increasing number
of retired people. Paradoxically,
the fewer
Suggestion
the less
labouring workers are, the less taxes government will receive.
As a result
, the shrink of
workforce
Suggestion
the workforce
may hinder the economic
development
.
In addition
, the fact that aged people are prone to disease urges government to invest more on
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
services while there is a shortage of governmental budget. In conclusion,
this
essay argued the advantages and disadvantages of
rising number
Suggestion
the rising number
of the elderly. After looking both sides of the discussion, I nurture the belief that
this
phenomenon would be a negative
development
due to various social problems though the old have more experience than the young.
Submitted by fexibleman on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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