These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

In recent years, digitization has had a severe

impact specially

Accept comma addition

impact, especially

impact especially

on children. The impact of urbanization and modernization has been very severe, and

this

has led children being addicted to online

video

games in

favor

promote over another

favour

of outdoor sports. The essay will discuss reasons responsible for

such

a development along with the negative aspects pertaining to the issue.

To begin

with, urbanization has resulted in elimination of playgrounds from cities and towns.

Consequently

this

has resulted in

construction

Suggestion

the construction

of shopping malls and huge buildings.

Thus

, children do not have the necessary place to play outdoor sports.

For instance

, a survey in Mumbai revealed that approximately 40% of open land was used for construction purposes, since the start of

millennium

Suggestion

the millennium

a millennium

In addition

, the security of children is another issue as parents are wary to send them outside to play. So, parents engage their children by letting them play online

video

games.

However

, studies have shown that playing

video

games for

longer time

Suggestion

a longer time

is known to have a detrimental effect on the child’s body.

Although

it enhances mental learning

skills but

Accept comma addition

skills, but

it has

also

been known to have an effect on physical and other mental activities.

For instance

, studies have established a clear relationship that a sedentary lifestyle leads to obesity in children.

Furthermore

, physical activity helps a child in the development of cognitive abilities like decision making and problem solving.

In addition

, sports

also teaches

Suggestion

also teach

various other like lessons like team management, working in a group and ability to take success and failure alike. To conclude,

although

playing

video

games

keeps

Suggestion

keep

children engaged for hours, it does not overall help in their development.

Thus

, I strongly believe that spending too much time

paying

the act of playing a musical instrument

playing

online games is harmful for the upcoming generation.

Submitted by abhisheksh14 on Wed Jun 12 2019

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree Discuss both views and give you opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compusory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree.