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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
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Early
retirement
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 is everyone’s dream. The mindset today is that people want to
work
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 hard, earn more and retire early, so that they can spend their valuable time on activities that interest them, things that are personal and more important to them. I agree that there should be no set
retirement
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 age for all forms
for
Suggestion
of
work
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.
Work
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 demands a lot of our time and resources. We cut down spending a holiday with family, we fail to attend functions of our dear ones in order to pay attention to our
work
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 and to perform our responsibilities in our workplace. The question is how long can we continue
this
Linking Words
 practice? Is there no life apart from
work
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? The answer
to these
Accept comma addition
to, these
 are, yes, there is more to life than
work
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 and
that is
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 why an early
retirement
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 is not a bad option.
This
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 allows the individual to pursue their passion or their dream. They are free to live their life in their own terms and they no longer have to perform mundane and repetitive tasks every day. Each new day brings a new challenge and each new day brings new possibilities. Jobs can be physically and mentally exhausting. Refinery Engineers who operate heavy vehicles and equipment, labourers in mechanical industries operating heavy machinery are affected because by nature, these tasks take a toll on physical health. Working in hazardous conditions
are
Suggestion
is
 even more dangerous. Scientists and Engineers who are in charge of a nuclear power plant are more prone to radiation which affects their health. Nearly 60% of workforce in nuclear power plants contain 20% more radiation in their bodies than common people, according to a new research paper from Anna University. There is 30% more chance for people working in radiation to have Cancer than those who don’t. It will be better for them to move on to other jobs that are not
this
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dangerous
Suggestion
most dangerous
 or demand the same amount of hard
work
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. In conclusion, considering the nature of
work
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, the perils and the damages it could bring to an individual, it is better to set an early
retirement
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 for jobs involving hard labour and hazardous conditions.
Submitted by sks21992 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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