IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

#businesses #profit #support #position
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Every
businesses
Suggestion
business
business's
 goal is to earn
profit
Use synonyms
, as it is essential for survival and growth.
Use synonyms
Business can
Accept comma addition
Business, can
 not be survived without taking risk. Some people do anything in the
business
Use synonyms
 to earn
profit
Use synonyms
 at the end of the day. But others do
care
Use synonyms
 about
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of things around them. I do not agree to the above statement that businesses should do anything to make
Use synonyms
profit
Suggestion
a profit
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, every
business
Use synonyms
have
Suggestion
has
 certain rules and regulations, ethics which should be strictly followed by everyone in the
business
Use synonyms
. Each and every employee in the
business
Use synonyms
 should respect the ethics. To earn more
profit
Use synonyms
 one should not mislead the government by not paying regular taxes, showing wrong records, threatening other
business
Use synonyms
 people for self
profit
Use synonyms
, child
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 and
many
Suggestion
much
 more should be banned.
This
Linking Words
activities
Suggestion
activity
affect
Suggestion
affects
 the
business
Use synonyms
 reputation and
business
Use synonyms
 relationship.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
India in
Accept comma addition
India, in
 many small
villages
Suggestion
village
 still child
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 is
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 followed. To make
crackers
Suggestion
the crackers
, lift
heavy items, in
Suggestion
heavy items,
 construction sites and many more activities are taking place. Some people
just wants
Suggestion
just want
 to earn more money, they don't
care
Use synonyms
 about others feelings or life.
In addition
Linking Words
, businesses should start to
care
Use synonyms
 about
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and people's health. In
this
Linking Words
 growing technology and
business
Use synonyms
market many
Accept comma addition
market, many
 businesses or industries have
least concern
Suggestion
the least concern
 about our environment. They just show the world that they follow the protection rules. Many industries leave out poisonous chemical wastes and gases, recycle, air quality is spoiled, water is contaminated, people are suffering from various diseases, cutting
tress
a tall perennial woody plant having a main trunk and branches forming a distinct elevated crown; includes both gymnosperms and angiosperms
trees
 to build larger buildings, all these are only to achieve money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, businesses should maintain quality while producing products. Should not be provoked to sell illegal items for more money. Because people trust them before using it. Misleading customers by selling cheap goods to market to earn more
profit
Use synonyms
 is not legal and fair in the
business
Use synonyms
. Some people start transporting drugs as a side
business
Use synonyms
. Many businesses do corruption to achieve success and
profit
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
affect
Suggestion
affects
 their family, friends and the whole world. In short, businesses should be always legal,
care
Use synonyms
 about people and
environment
Suggestion
the environment
. Money is not always the
first
Linking Words
 thing in life. There should be certain limits, rules, ethics, respect to run a
business
Use synonyms
 successfully
Submitted by anusha.kichhu on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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