IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government While others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your answer

#people #health #responsibility #government
Cleanliness of an environment does not only add to the ambience of
such
 a
street but
Accept comma addition
street, but
also
 help in preventing some diseases. It is some people’s view that the cleanliness of a neighbourhood is the
duty
 of people residing in
such
 places while I believe it is the
government
’s
duty
. There are many reasons why the
government
 needs to help tidy our streets. One of
such
 is that it creates employment opportunity. In 2015, Governor Aregbesola of Osun state employed over 20,000 youths under the O-YES program. Some of them are responsible for keeping our streets clean,
this
 has not helped to just beautify our
street
 but
also
 reduce unemployed youths in Osun
state
the federal department in the United States that sets and maintains foreign policies
State
. Another reason why the
government
 should help in keeping the
street
 clean is that the equipment required to do the job is very expensive.
For example
, snow remover used in de-icing roads
of
Suggestion
in
 countries like Canada, the USA e.t.c.
during
Suggestion
During
 winter.
Such
 equipment is too expensive for people to buy
hence
 the need for the
government
 to buy and help users in keeping the road safe for driving during winter.
On the other hand
, the
duty
 of keeping our
street
 clean depends on the residents because they will feel the impact of the dirty environment most. Dirty streets can help spread diseases
such
 as malaria.
For example
, open and dirty gutters are common sights in Nigeria. These gutters are good breeding sites for
mosquitoes which
Accept comma addition
mosquitoes, which
 spread malaria
hence
 its high prevalence in the country. Another reason why its residents'
duty
 to keep their
street
 tidy and clean is because it is cheap. Cleaning the
street
 by the
government
 could lead to more levies which the people may not be able to afford.
Although
 the effects of dirty streets are felt
most
Suggestion
mostly
 by residents of
such
 areas, I believe it is the
government
 has to keep it clean.
This
 is due to the fact that it creates employment opportunities and because the equipment required may be too expensive for the people.
Submitted by gbokun2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: