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Band 4

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development.

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development
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Nowadays, a great number of children waste their
time
Use synonyms
 playing games, just a small deal of their
time
Use synonyms
 is used to play sports. From the point view of mine,
this
Linking Words
 is not a positive way for children to develop. In the light of
technology's development
Suggestion
the technology's development
, computer has become a popular thing, which is commonly used to work, study, and
also
Linking Words
 relax with computer games. In game, we can do everything, killing monsters to
get higher levels,
Suggestion
get to higher levels,
 collecting treasures, becoming a superhero and so forth. Especially, with the Internet, we can play with other players in the world. Those are reasons why people are addicted to playing games on
computer
Suggestion
the computer
a computer
, not only children but
also
Linking Words
 adults. Spending a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 playing games is not good for our health because it can get rise to some diseases
on
Suggestion
in
 our body, especially on
eyes
Suggestion
the eyes
. In U.S, we can see that almost over-eight-year-old children have to wear glasses,
that is
Linking Words
the most clearest
Suggestion
the clearest
the most clear
 evidence for the downside of playing games. There
are
Suggestion
is
 a wide range of skills that a child must learn if he wants to live alone and become a successful person like communication skill, collaboration skill and so on. But with the way that children
watse
spend thoughtlessly; throw away
waste
wastes
 their
time
Use synonyms
, they will not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to learn these skills, for
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
Use synonyms
, that makes them become shy and unconfident. As we can witness, many successful people all over the world use their
communcation
the activity of communicating; the activity of conveying information
communication
communications
 skill very well,
that is
Linking Words
 because they could manage their
time
Use synonyms
 effectively. It is discouraged that the children spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 playing games, they should use that
time
Use synonyms
 to play sports or do some other different works alternatively.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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