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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart provides information about the percentage of people who hold different science qualifications in
Malaysia
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 and
Singapore
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. It is clear from the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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graph that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most inhabitants do not hold any scientific
degree
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, with
Correct article usage
the participitation
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participitation
Correct your spelling
participation
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 reaching 60% and 65% in
Singapore
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 and
Malaysia
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 ,
respictively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
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degree
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 is the least earned
scientific
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a scientific
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degree
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 in both countries (3%). Bachelor's
degree
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 is more preferred in
Singapore
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 (20%) compared to 10 in
Malaysia
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.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the people of both countries tend to take school leaving exams but
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 noticed in
Malaysia
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 (35%) compared to 30% in
Singapore
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that
Singapore
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 a
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
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 higher number of
holder
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the holder
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 of all scientific
qulifications
Correct your spelling
qualifications
catogeries
Correct your spelling
categories
 compared to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, singapore, degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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