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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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A debatable topic is whether free social services should be enforced as part of high
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum, I would agree that implementing unpaid services as part of high
school
Use synonyms
 activities will encourage students in developing unknown skills and aid to reduce youthful
deliquescy
the quality of being beautiful and delicate in appearance
delicacy
 Why should unpaid charity work be engaged in student work?
First
Linking Words
 of all, it helps in discovering new skills. Most
times
Suggestion
time
vlounteering
tell voluntarily
volunteering
 services
allows
Suggestion
allow
 people from different schools and countries to participate as
result
Suggestion
a result
, students are able to meet and exchange ideas amongst themselves motivating each other to uncover new abilities that will be helpful to them and
also
Linking Words
 to their schools. A good example was when my cousin volunteered for an Art seminar in Spain, he was privileged to learn different genre's of dance from other participants compared to routine hip-hop dance which he only knew.
This
Linking Words
 shows the importance of volunteer services to students. Another reason why community services should be insisted in schools is because, it
serve
Suggestion
serves
 as a a good distraction in reducing nefarious activities amongst students. Since high schoolers will be engaging their time in doing free services that will be more productive with their
time
Accept comma addition
time, hence
hence
Linking Words
, won't have the luxury for
fivolous
not serious in content or attitude or behavior
frivolous
 activities. Take for an instance in
Sheba High
Suggestion
the Sheba High school name
Sheba High school name
school
Use synonyms
 Maimi a
school
Use synonyms
 my sister attends, since the implementation of social services they have not recorded any case of drug abuse compared to when there were no free social
activies
any specific behavior
activities
 in their
school
Use synonyms
 work. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 ideal to say that volunteering is a good idea that should be encouraged To conclude, it is evident that there is
need
Suggestion
a need
 for
free community
Accept comma addition
free, community
 activities to be enforced in high schools as it obviously improves the skills and productivity of students.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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