IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

#job #money
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A vast majority of our adult life is spent working;
hence
Linking Words
 it is important that we have an appropriate
job
Use synonyms
 that fulfils our aspirations. While financial remuneration is an important
factor
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 that attracts individuals towards a specific
work
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, I disagree that it is the most significant
factor
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 that makes a
job
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 ideal.
Firstly
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, the importance of financial security cannot be undermined in the modern materialistic world. Since a vast majority of people earn their livelihood from their workplace, it will be difficult for individuals with
single source
Suggestion
a single source
 of income, to make their ends meet, from underpaying jobs.
Thus
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 underpaid employees, because of their financial burdens, may not be able to offer dedication and commitment at
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
, which in turn results in under-performance.
Secondly
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, the educated refrain from being employed in underpaying jobs, as these are less attractive.
Hence
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 the remuneration associated, is an important
factor
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 that determines the value of a particular
job
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.
On the other hand
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, to glorify higher
earning
the excess of revenues over outlays in a given period of time (including depreciation and other non-cash expenses)
earnings
 as the sole determiner of an ideal
job
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 is incorrect.
This
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 is because various other factors like
work
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 and life balance; working place culture and adequate recognition contribute towards satisfaction and contentment in
work
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.
Thus
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 an astronomically higher paying
job
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 with a demanding employer, with poor social life in a tedious
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work place
a place where work is done
workplace
 environment will lead to higher
job
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 dissatisfaction, which in turn will
also
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 promote higher attrition. Henceforth, it can be stated that apart from financial remuneration, which is a major determiner of a good occupation,
job
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 satisfaction is
also
Linking Words
 an equally important associated
factor
Use synonyms
 that determines the value of a specific
job
Use synonyms
. Total Words: 265
Submitted by avneet.saurabh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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