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Band 4

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or us it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens
I think that wealthy
nations
 should share their prosperous resources with the
poorly
Replace the word
poor
show examples
nations
 to improve their living by offering food and education. Reasons to share their wealth are: • To Build up humanity • To Improve friendship in neighbouring
countries
 • To save the lives of
people
 Whenever famine hits the country, it wipes out all their crops and
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 the
people
 suffer from starvation. One
such
 example is Somalia where
people
 died like flies under starvation. It is the duty of other
nations
 to support their cause by providing food in their need.
Thus
 it keeps
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity alive and
pass
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 on to the next generation. It inspires others to be humane. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of undeveloped
countries
, it is not easy to provide quality education to youngsters by their government.
Thus
 the developed
nations
 should lend them the way for their studies. Since youth is the backbone of their land, it is inevitable for them to acquire proper graduation.
This
 builds up healthy
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 between provinces as they are benefited by their nearest
countries
. Sharing should not be stopped with food and education alone. It includes saving the lives of
people
 when the nearby country faces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural calamities. In those situations , it is important to send their troops to the affected territory in order to reduce the casualties. The required medical support should be dispatched to treat the wounded
people
. I conclude that sharing
to
Change preposition
with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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needy
people
 is the best way to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money as it
replinish
Wrong verb form
replinishes
show examples
 the dying humanity and creates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bonding between
countries
.
Submitted by Sneha S.R on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
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