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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
number
Use synonyms
 of personnel and manufactories in England and Wales from1851
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1901
illustrated
Add a missing verb
is illustrated
show examples
 by the given statistics.
Overall
Linking Words
, the steadily decreasing was the tendency of the figures of both masculine and feminine
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
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 in two different nations and so was the summed up
number
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of factories showed the contrary trend. During three decades, starting in 1851, the
number
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 of entire employees in both countries displayed a considerable decline from 477100 and remained
140123
Change preposition
at 140123
show examples
 in 1871. The reason why the total
number
Use synonyms
 dropped significantly is that the statistics
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 male and female workforces
also
Linking Words
 decreased in the very first 30 years. The falling sign
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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endured for the following three decades. In 1881, there were approximately 126000 people
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 as employees, comprising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
76132 masculine workers and 50000 feminine personnel. After an enormous decline over 50 years, the figures eventually remained
61000
Change preposition
at 61000
show examples
 employees in the primary year of the 1900s.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of factories remained stable for the first 20 years. Thenceforward, it suddenly climbed up to 622 factories in 1871. After reaching a peak at 721 sweatshops in 1881, it decreased remarkably and
subsequently
Linking Words
 ended up with the
number
Use synonyms
 of 600.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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