IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows an average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows an average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#carbon #dioxide #co #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line chart depicts information about the carbon dioxide
emissions
 per human being in four countries
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
; United Kingdom,
Sweden
, Italy and Portugal. The graph collects information
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a
50 year
Add a hyphen
50-year
show examples
 period from 1967 to 2007.
Overall
, there has been a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
as well as
 an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
emissions
 of carbon
according to
 the information reported.
For instance
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom demonstrates a consistent drop and
Sweden
, with a small fluctuation, decreases its
emissions
 too.
Whereas
 Italy and Portugal,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consistently
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 their pollution throughout the 50 years recorded. Even though each year represents a different amount of gas emitted, there are some countries that had a small variation from the beginning to the end results.
For example
, Portugal started off with the minimum amount of toxic gas disposal in 1967 of about 1 metric ton,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it rocketed to over 5 in 2007. Even though it had a gradual
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
, it was from the start to the end the country with the lowest gas emission of all. The same happened to
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom, its
emissions
 fell, but it was constantly the country with the highest
emissions
 of all.
On the contrary
, the results slightly changed for
Sweden
 and Italy.
For instance
, Italy, with a small fluctuation, climbed from being
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
 to
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
 place in countries with the highest emanations of CO2. As in
Sweden
, it when from almost 9 metric tonnes to over 5 releases per person.
Submitted by cristinaleonactive on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for instance".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words emissions, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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