IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows an average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows an average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#carbon #dioxide #co #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart depicts information about the carbon dioxide
emissions
Use synonyms
 per human being in four countries
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
; United Kingdom,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Italy and Portugal. The graph collects information
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a
50 year
Add a hyphen
50-year
show examples
 period from 1967 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, there has been a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
emissions
Use synonyms
 of carbon
according to
Linking Words
 the information reported.
For instance
Linking Words
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom demonstrates a consistent drop and
Sweden
Use synonyms
, with a small fluctuation, decreases its
emissions
Use synonyms
 too.
Whereas
Linking Words
 Italy and Portugal,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consistently
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 their pollution throughout the 50 years recorded. Even though each year represents a different amount of gas emitted, there are some countries that had a small variation from the beginning to the end results.
For example
Linking Words
, Portugal started off with the minimum amount of toxic gas disposal in 1967 of about 1 metric ton,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it rocketed to over 5 in 2007. Even though it had a gradual
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
, it was from the start to the end the country with the lowest gas emission of all. The same happened to
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom, its
emissions
Use synonyms
 fell, but it was constantly the country with the highest
emissions
Use synonyms
 of all.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the results slightly changed for
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and Italy.
For instance
Linking Words
, Italy, with a small fluctuation, climbed from being
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
Linking Words
 to
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
Linking Words
 place in countries with the highest emanations of CO2. As in
Sweden
Use synonyms
, it when from almost 9 metric tonnes to over 5 releases per person.
Submitted by cristinaleonactive on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for instance".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words emissions, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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